


The War on Fuckboys

by commandercannibal



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-20
Updated: 2015-06-12
Packaged: 2018-03-24 21:49:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 27,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3785482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/commandercannibal/pseuds/commandercannibal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lexa and Clarke are still healing from past relationships. When Lincoln and Octavia begin dating, they have a friend get together where Lexa and Clarke meet. Also Lexa may be running an underground organization against fuckboys.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. They Just Look Tough

**Author's Note:**

> So basically this is inspired by another story I wrote (oops). I was thinking I'd write a multiple chapter fic and kinda wanted to see what y'all thought about this idea/story. I know my other stories aren't angsty, but this one will be. I'm also planning on writing a few sex scenes. I'm not completely sure how often I'm going to update this story, though.

Lexa picked up her phone, looking at the unrecognizable number before answering, “Hello.”

“Um hello, Grounders?” a wary feminine voice spoke from the other end. 

“Yes, this is the Commander. Would you like to report an issue?” The brunette had recently showered and her long hair was still very wet. Regardless, she picked up the pen and notepad from the coffee table when the person replied with an uncertain 'Yes.' 

“What would be the problem?” Though Lexa ultimately loved her self-assigned obligation to this city, she hated hearing about the tales of moronic fuckboys every day. The bright side was bringing down these moronic fuckboys, her passion in life so-to-say. She considered what she did as heroic volunteer work, but not the kind of volunteer work she could put on a résumé. 

“I’ve been dating this guy Mike for, uh, 5 weeks,” the person’s voice was still wary, though slightly more at ease, “and I asked him, ‘What are we?’ because I want to know if we’re exclusive. I want to know if I’m his girlfriend or not. But he just brushed it off saying ‘Babe, I don’t wanna ruin what we have by labeling it’ and it just,” the woman sighed, by now her voice was comfortable revealing her relationship problems with the Commander, “I don’t know what to do.” 

“It sounds like you know what you want, though, or else you wouldn’t have called Grounders,” Lexa said. She learned during the beginnings of her operation not to assume what any client was looking for and instead to ask them what they desired. In this particular case, she wanted to tell the woman that Mike was a fuckboy and it was in her best interest to get the hell away from him. Lexa isn’t a relationship specialist, though, all she does is help people of all genders with their problems involving fuckboys and if that means helping someone hook up with a fuckboy, then so be it. People make their own decisions and Lexa is only here to clean up the messes that fuckboys can’t help making. 

“I was sort of hoping to finally make it official and…” the woman had paused, returning to uneasiness. 

“I can have someone hang out with you to push him into asking you to be his girlfriend. They can do things like hold your hand, hug you, kiss you, whatever it is you are comfortable with,” Lexa needed to figure out a better way to word this, because it always came out sounding like she may be running a brothel. Maybe that would be her next business venture. Not that this was a business. Some days she wondered if maybe she should charge money. She always decided against it, after all, she is not doing this for money. 

“Oh! Yeah, that would be nice. That would work, I think. But what if it only causes him to break things off with me?” asked the woman, worry slipping into her voice. The wise words of Beyoncé came to Lexa’s mind: _If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it_ , or in this case, a label. 

“Tell him that you did not know your relationship was exclusive,” replied Lexa. “If you are confronted while out with my warrior then they will know how to handle the situation.” 

“Are you sure? I’m afraid of it not turning out the way I want.” This woman clearly underestimated Lexa and her warriors. 

“Yes, I’m certain.” 

“Okay,” the woman said, her tone slightly off-kilter. 

“Good. Would you prefer a male or female assigned to your case?” 

“Uh, a man,” the woman sounded slightly aggressive, and then her tone turned defensive as she said, “I’m not gay!” 

Lexa closed her eyes for a moment as she felt an internal sensation of rolling her eyes. She enjoyed what she did, however she did not enjoy some people’s comments. “If you can give me your name and information for your preferred method of contact, I can have one of my men,” she didn’t emphasize the word, but she did replace her usual choice of ‘warrior’ so the woman knew she didn’t have to worry about the gay agenda trying to recruit her, “contact you within 48 hours.” 

The rest of the conversation was short-lived as the contact information and the formality of goodbyes were all that was left. 

Lexa looked down at her notepad and scrawled ‘Lincoln’ next to the new client’s information. She would give him a call later, but first she going to finish drying her hair and start dinner. There were no plans for tonight, so Lexa wasn’t going to braid her hair right away, she could do that after dinner or maybe right before bed. Regardless of her decision, Lexa was currently blow-drying her hair. She only spent around five minutes blow-drying until she decided it was good enough. It was still damp, but not nearly as wet and she would let it air-dry the rest of the way. 

After she put the spaghetti noodles in the pot of boiling water and began cooking the meat, she grabbed her phone and dialed Lincoln’s number. He answered after several rings. 

“Hey Lexa,” said the familiar voice. 

“Hello, Lincoln. I have another assignment for you,” she said getting right to the point. She was using the spatula to break the meat down into smaller chunks as it cooked. 

“Of course,” the voice said with a sigh, “I was actually going to call you about that.” 

“What?” asked Lexa, she was confused. How did he already know? 

“I met this girl the other day and well, I think she’s the one.” He tried to break the news as gently as possible. 

“How do you know? You’ve only known her for a short time,” questioned Lexa. She was certain that the unspoken part of his revelation was that he intended on leaving the Grounders. 

“I don’t know, there’s something about her and I don’t want to ruin this. She’s the sun and I’m only a weed.” Lexa stirred the pasta. She knew Lincoln was already in deep, he usually didn’t break out the metaphors until a few months into the relationship. 

“You’re not a weed, Lincoln, you are more like an elm tree.” 

“Thanks.” 

The line was silent for a few seconds, and Lexa stirred the pasta again. “Are you intending on leaving the Grounders?” 

“Yeah, like I said, I don’t want to ruin this.” 

“Very well. You were one of my best warriors and will be missed, but I understand,” said Lexa. She flipped over the meat chunks so the other sides could cook. 

“Lexa, I can still help in some situations. They just need to be…like where I’m pretending to be the person’s friend or brother. Nothing of the romantic or sexual sense,” Lincoln offered. 

There was a long pause as Lexa started heating the sauce. “Okay, but I will only ask you in emergencies.” 

“Thank you…Commander.” Lincoln added that last touch for Lexa’s personal enjoyment. “Oh, and Octavia and I are planning on having a get together tomorrow night so everybody can meet. Well, not everybody, but friends and such. You’re invited.” 

“When and where?” Lexa replied. She was planning on having a nice relaxing night in tomorrow with herself and Fallout 3, but she could reschedule. 

“The Dropship at 9,” replied Lincoln. Lexa stirred the sauce and began transferring the meat over to it. 

“Okay, I will be there.” 

“Thanks Lexa, I have to go. See you tomorrow.” 

“See you tomorrow, Lincoln.” The call ended and Lexa put the phone down on the counter. She drained the noodles and retrieved a plate from a cupboard. After putting the spaghetti on the plate, Lexa moved over to the table -phone in hand- and sat down. While eating, she contemplated on whom she should assign to the Fuckboy Mike case. 

* * *

“C’mon Clarke! It’s only one night,” Octavia pleaded on the other line. 

Clarke was lying on her stomach on the floor with her sketchpad. The sun was shining through the windows lighting up the room. There was a radio playing the top 40 in the background, the volume being stuck somewhere between too quiet and medium. It was around the middle of the afternoon and Clarke hadn’t left the apartment since sometime yesterday morning. 

Octavia wanted her to meet her new boyfriend Lincoln tomorrow, but Clarke wanted to stay in and paint or read, really anything other than go out. “I’m sure I’ll meet him eventually,” Clarke supplied. She was sketching a picture of a photo she took when her and her friends went to Great Falls Park. 

“Everyone’s going to be there, Clarke. I want you to be there. His friends are going to meet me and my friends are going to meet him and our friends are going to meet each other, it’s important to me that you’re there,” Octavia begged, “please Clarke. Raven’s going to be there.” The woman realized the last bit came out like a stab and immediately said a soft “sorry.” 

“Yeah, well I didn’t fuck your brother to get over it,” Clarke spit out harshly. She was tired of people thinking that this had anything to do with him. She still made it to work on time, took regular showers, and ate at least two meals every day. All that changed was that she liked to stay home more, which was a normal thing to happen as people age. However, she knew she shouldn’t have made that comment. 

“Clarke,” Octavia’s voice was stern, but also had a slight tint of affection. 

“Sorry, that was uncalled for,” Clarke apologized. She pushed herself up into a sitting position on the olive carpeted floor. 

“At least promise me you will try to come.” 

“What are you not gonna be here to force me?” asked Clarke. She took a sip of cherry coke out of the mason jar on the floor. 

“I’m going over to Lincoln’s beforehand and I know Raven won’t force you to go. She might but probably not.” It was true, Raven would probably tell Clarke she should go, but she wouldn’t try forcing her to go. 

“I’ll think about it,” said Clarke. She was staring at the light yellow wall of the apartment trying to keep her mind focused on things other than him. 

“Thank you. We’re meeting at the Dropship at 9.” 

“You think he’s the one?” It was part curiosity and part an attempt to steer her mind away from him. 

“Why do you ask?” 

“You never have us meet your boyfriends so soon…and with their friends.” Clarke had stood up and walked over to the window to watch the traffic outside. Like usual, it was moderately busy. The sun was shining and there was barely a cloud to be seen in the light blue sky. 

“Yeah, I think he might be the one. I think he feels the same way, too,” said Octavia, “You know he draws, too.” Clarke began to walk aimlessly around the apartment. 

“That’s nice O. I’ll really try to be there,” Clarke was sincere. She didn’t want to go, but if her friend already felt so serious about the relationship AND thought it was mutual, then the least she could do was show up. 

“Thanks,” said Octavia once again. “I should probably go. I still need to talk to my brother.” 

“Good luck. See you later, O.” 

“See ya.” 

When the call ended, Clarke was standing in the kitchen. There were pictures all over the fridge of her and her friends. She thought she seemed mostly happy in the pics, though she knew there was an underlying sadness. They were taken during the trip to Great Falls Park, a trip they went on only a week after it happened. Who was she kidding? She was always making a bigger deal out of it then it was. So what if this nice, sweet, and caring guy who made her feel at peace with herself, like she didn’t have to limit herself, she could be and do as many things as she wanted, turned out to be a lying, cheating, asshole? It wasn’t like she woke up one day and realized she never loved the person she had been married to for 30 years. Or that she went to an eye doctor only to find out that she’s colorblind and all of her paintings look like complete and utter shit. It could be worse. And Raven, well Raven seemed to be moving on alright. _Fuck_ , Clarke forgot that she decided she already moved on. She knew it wasn’t true, but she hoped that if she believed hard enough, then it would be true. 

* * *

Bellamy was sitting on the worn, tan couch in Clarke, Raven, and Octavia’s apartment engulfed in the world within his phone. Clarke and Raven were both standing near the oak door, sliding on their shoes. 

“Bellamy! Let’s go!” yelled Clarke. She wasn’t annoyed or angry, but ever since he came over half an hour ago, he’s been sitting on the couch stuck in his phone that he didn’t notice Raven and Clarke getting ready. 

“Chop, chop, Belly-boy,” added Raven. She was wearing black skinny jeans and black boots with a gray V-neck and her signature red jacket. Usually she kept her hair up in a ponytail, but tonight she let it down. 

“Wait, Clarke, you’re going?” asked Bellamy, he had finally looked up from his phone and stood up. The bottom of his navy shirt was bunched up at the top of his jeans. 

“What? You think I wasn’t?” retorted Clarke. She was tired of everyone acting surprised when she did go out. It wasn’t a big deal, sometimes she went out, sometimes she didn’t. Who fuckin’ cares? Her friends did apparently. 

“I was hoping you weren’t, then Octavia wouldn’t be able to get mad at me if I didn’t,” he explained. He was next to the women, sliding on his athletic shoes. 

“And miss the chance to meet your sis’s new boy-toy?” teased Raven. She opened the door and headed out. 

“Raven, don’t say _that_. I want to meet him one-on-one first. You know size him up. Give him the talk.” They had all exited the apartment and Clarke was locking the door. 

“Bell, she doesn’t need your protection, she can take care of herself,” said Clarke, checking the doorknob to make sure the door was indeed locked. 

“You should drop the big, tough brother act. It’s probably why all her relationships fail,” Raven said walking towards the stairs. The other two followed her. 

“Hey, c’mon. I’m just doing what any good brother would do,” he said, “besides she’s never even told me about a guy so soon. I don’t want her to get hurt.” 

“She really likes him, Bell and he’d be a fool not to really like her,” said Clarke. They began their descent down the stairs. 

“It’s not up to you. Let her do her own thing. If it doesn’t work out, then so what? She can handle it, she doesn’t need you to protect her,” supplied the other woman. 

“I know, I know. I just can’t help but worry,” said the man. 

“Ah, little Belly is worried. How cute,” teased Raven reaching the bottom of the stairs. 

* * *

There was loud knocking at Lexa’s door. Groaning she stood up from her place on the vermillion couch, putting the Xbox controller on the coffee table as so did so. The loud knocking never stopped until she swung the door open, almost getting knocked in the head with a fist when she did. 

“Anya, what do you want?” she asked sternly. She glared at the woman standing in the doorway. 

“Are you going to let me in…Chief?” asked Anya. She was Lexa’s closest friend and liked to tease her immensely. 

“It’s Commander,” said Lexa, opening the door wider to let Anya into her apartment. 

“Are you going to wear that?” Anya asked opening the fridge and grabbing a Dr. Pepper. Lexa was wearing old sweatpants and a white tank top. 

“No,” she moved back to the couch and grabbed the Xbox controller, but didn’t sit down. Instead she was going through the motions of saving the game. 

“Well, hurry up. We’re supposed to be at the Dropship in 30.” Anya took a long drink of the Dr. Pepper. 

Once the game was saved, Lexa shut off the Xbox and TV. “I’m going.” 

It didn’t take Lexa too long to change. She had already braided her hair so the tedious part was done. She slipped on a black muscle shirt over her tank top and a pair of dark jeans. Outside of her bedroom, she put on her combat boots and threw on the leather jacket that was hanging on a hook on her apartment door. The jacket looked slightly similar to the one Anya wore, but that may have been due to both of them being leather jackets. She grabbed her keys and wallet off the counter. 

“Okay, let’s go,” she said. Anya downed the rest of the Dr. Pepper and headed to the door. 

* * *

When Clarke, Raven, and Bellamy arrived at the bar, they immediately scoped out the area for Octavia. Raven was the first to spot her in the very back of the bar sitting with a leather jacketed man who had his arm draped over the back of Octavia’s seat. 

“Guys this is Lincoln,” Octavia said once the trio approached the table, “Lincoln this is my brother, Bellamy, and my roommates Clarke and Raven,” she pointed at each person as she introduced them. 

“Only roommates now, huh? Guess, I don’t have to return your headphones, then,” Raven said as she sat down across from Octavia and Lincoln in the booth. 

“Whatever Reyes, just give me my damn headphones back.” Octavia was wearing a black band tee and her hair had a couple small braids, something which Clarke couldn’t remember seeing Octavia do before. Clarke slid into the seat next to Raven. Bellamy made the quick decision of not sitting next to the lovebirds and opted to squeeze in next to Clarke. 

“Did you do those braids yourself, O?” Clarke asked. 

“No, Lincoln did,” said Octavia as she looked at him lovingly. Gross. 

“Really?” said Raven, “must be easier than braiding your hair.” It wasn’t a lie, Lincoln had a nearly clean shaven head. 

“Yeah. It’s something I picked up from a friend. You should be meeting her tonight,” he said this all casually, which meant he must not be embarrassed about knowing how to braid. This earned him several points in Clarke’s book. “Do you guys want some drinks?” 

“Hell yeah!” said Raven, a little too enthusiastically. 

“Let me go with you,” said Bellamy. Octavia let out a quiet ‘here we go’ at his words. 

Octavia slid out of the booth, allowing Lincoln to get out. Once both boys went off to get the drinks, she asked, “So, what do you think?” 

Clarke gave her a thumbs up and a toothless smile, while Raven said, “You know I’m not going to only say this once, but damn, he is a fine piece of ass.” 

“Well thanks, I’m glad you both approve.” 

“You know you don’t need our approval,” said Raven. 

“Yeah, but I sorta do. If my friends don’t like him, then what’s the point?” said Octavia. She glanced over to the bar’s entrance as a group of people walked in. “Oh, I think that’s his friends.” 

Both Raven and Clarke looked over to the group of people, all wearing leather jackets. Clarke looked back at Octavia with disbelief and asked seriously, “Is he in a biker gang?” 

Raven let out a laugh and slapped Clarke on the back, “Don’t worry Clarke, I’ve dated a biker before. They’re nice people. They just look tough.” 

“He can’t be, he doesn’t own a bike, but-” Octavia said as she started to smirk. 

“Keep your biker fantasies to yourself,” said Clarke. She looked back over to the group of people. They did look intimidating. A particular person stood out to her. The unspoken leader of the group, Clarke thought. She didn’t notice that Octavia left the booth until she saw her and Lincoln, who walked over holding four beers, greet the strangers. 

Bellamy slid back into the booth next to Clarke and handed the two women each a beer. “Monty and Jasper are working. I was wondering why they weren’t here yet.” Monty and Jasper worked at the Dropship, which meant that if everybody got drunk, then at least they would have two responsible, well at least sober, workers to drive them home. 

“So Bell, what do you think of Lincolin?” asked Raven. She took a sip of her beer. 

“I haven’t decided,” he said truthfully. 

“You couldn’t take him,” teased Raven. 

“I could take him,” argued Bellamy. 

“I’m with Raven. I don’t think you could.” 

“I could.” 

“You could what?” a voice asked as two bodies began sliding into the other side of the booth. They were both wearing leather jackets. Lincoln’s friends. 

“He thinks he could take Lincoln in a fight,” said Raven with a light tone. 

The woman who asked the question let out a laugh and responded coldly, “You would only last 5 seconds. 15 tops. My name is Anya, by the way. I believe our friends are dating.” Both of the women wore a stoic look on their countenance and sat up straight. Clarke found herself staring at the nameless woman in particular. She was unbelievably hot. Intimidating? Absolutely. Clarke found herself wanting to intimidate her in the bedroom, if you catch her drift. 

“Raven, and this is Clarke and Bellamy,” supplied Raven, pointing at her two friends. 

Clarke didn’t realize Bellamy was also looking at the unnamed woman. “How’s your sister?” he asked. 

The woman turned her gaze to Bellamy, which Clarke didn’t realize was on her up until that point. “My sister? I don’t have a sister.” 

“Oh. My bad. Thought you were someone else,” he offered. 

“Wait. I remember you now. You were that fuckboy who had sex with a girl once and thought you fell in love,” the woman stated. 

“Oh my god, Bell. This is the woman who scared you shitless?” Raven was laughing, maybe even having the time of her life. “You’re my hero.” 

“I wasn’t her sister. I was just helping her out,” said the woman over Bellamy's mumble of 'she didn't scare me shitless.' She eyed Clarke and Clarke unknowingly looked down at her lips. 

“Lexa here can’t resist helping out the ladies,” said Anya coolly, patting Lexa on the shoulder. Lexa gave her a glare in return. 

“Shut up, Anya.” 

“Nothing gets her like a woman in need.” Anya was having fun messing with Lexa. She knew Lexa liked to maintain an image of seriousness, so Anya liked to break it down. 

“Shut up.” 

“And if they call her Commander, well…watch out.” 

“Enough,” Lexa pushed Anya’s shoulder so hard that Clarke thought for a millisecond she might fall out of the booth. Anya, of course, did not. 

“Commander? Well you can command me any day,” Raven flirtatiously replied. 

“Raven!” said Clarke the same time Lexa said “Noted.” 

“What?” Raven said looking at Clarke, “I’m just having a little fun.” Clarke shook her head and turned her gaze back to Lexa, whose gaze was already on Clarke. 

They wordlessly stared in each other’s eyes as Bellamy said to Lexa, “If you wanna start over, pretend that whole…sister thing never happened, I am one-hundred percent okay with it.” 

Lexa turned her gaze back over to Bellamy and Clarke thought about what those gray-green eyes would look like closer. Like maybe, hypothetically, if Clarke was staring into them as she held Lexa’s head in her hands. 

“As long as you don’t do anything else that causes someone to need my help, then we will be fine,” she replied. 

“I can’t guarantee anything.” 

“Hey guys,” said Lincoln as he stepped up to the booth. Octavia was by his side along with two other people. “see you found each other. This is Nyko and Indra.” He pointed to two more people who also wore leather jackets. 

* * *

Lexa didn’t remember how the conversation turned to this, but Lincoln’s girlfriend and her friends now knew that she ran an underground operation against fuckboys. Not that Lexa tried keeping it a secret, she just wasn’t sure if this was something Octavia knew about. And well…maybe she didn’t exactly want Clarke knowing about it. 

“Wow. Me and Clarke could have used you some time ago. Can you imagine the look on Finn’s face if he saw both of us on the arms of,” Raven motioned at Lexa with her right hand, “Lexa?” Clarke made a noise that sounded something like a soft grunt. The topic of Finn still made her uncomfortable. 

“That’s gotta be amazing for your sex life, though,” Bellamy nearly yelled. 

“She doesn’t date,” Indra immediately replied. Indra was the friend that Lexa always took to bars. She was kind of like the opposite of a wingman for Lexa. If someone tried talking to her, then Indra scared them off. It was nice. Lexa didn’t have to politely turn them away or do anything embarrassing to get them to leave her alone. The perfect anti-wingman. 

“I don’t sleep with any of my clients. I only pretend to if they wish,” replied Lexa. She snuck at glance at the pretty blonde named Clarke. If she was a client, then perhaps Lexa would make an exception for her. 

“If I were you, I definitely try to hook up with them,” said Bellamy. 

“Hence why you were a problem for one of my clients,” replied Lexa. She glanced back at Clarke and her beautiful blue eyes before her attention went back to Bellamy. Bellamy pointed at Lexa with a smile and then took a drink. 

“So you don’t date?” asked Octavia. She was sitting on Lincoln’s lap holding a beer. 

“No, she won’t date. Not since-” Anya started saying before Lexa’s hand slapped over her mouth. 

“Shut up, Anya!” Lexa’s eyes were wide and she spoke much louder than she intended. “No, I haven’t dated in a while.” Anya pushed Lexa’s hand off of her mouth, but due to the force, Lexa’s hand swung over the table. Luckily, however, all she managed to do was knock over a couple of empty beer bottles. 

“It’s been five years, Lexa,” said Anya, ignoring the beer bottles. It may have been five years, but Lexa still didn’t feel ready. Plus, she felt fine on her own. She didn’t need anyone. Not now, not ever. 

“Damn! Five years? That’s how long you’ve been waiting for me?” The woman who had been flirting all night with Lexa was the one who said it. Lexa was still trying to figure out if the woman, Raven, was serious or not. Though, Lexa supposed if she was propositioned for sex she wouldn’t turn her down. Even if she wasn’t the one who had caught Lexa’s eye, and kept catching for that matter. 

“Time heals all wounds. Some take longer than others,” said Nyko from his spot next to Lincoln. 

“Nyko!” Lexa said this aggressively. She wanted everyone to drop it. 

“Hey Octavia, tell us the story of how you and Lincoln met, again,” said Clarke and Bellamy groaned. Lexa looked at her and received a small smile. She couldn’t help but give the beautiful woman a small smile in return. 

“Okay so-” Octavia began.


	2. Motherfucker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically I'm the smiling poop emoji

Lexa woke up the next morning, lying on her back, bunched up next to the wall. She propped herself up into a sitting position and looked at the time on her alarm clock over the sleeping body on her bed. 7:20. Lexa didn’t have to work until 9, and maybe if she hurried, she could get in a quick workout before she left. Except that she was either going to have to wake up the woman beside her or crawl over her and incidentally wake her up. She decided she was going to poke her until she woke up.

“Anya,” she said, poking the sleeping body. “Anya, wake up.” The figure stirred. “Anya.” 

“Shut up,” slurred the now-slightly awake woman. 

“Come on, wake up. Some of us have work today,” said Lexa. She was talking about her ‘real’ job, not the one where she helped people with fuckboys. A real, paying job that she didn’t exactly enjoy, but she was a manager, which was a plus. The only problem was that the older employees didn’t like being bossed around by a 26 year old who had been working there for only 3 years. Whatever, though, it wasn’t like they did much of anything at work other than complain. 

“Crawl over me. Let me sleep in peace,” Anya said, her voice barely audible. 

“Okay, but if we both fall off, it’s your fault,” said Lexa. It wouldn’t be the first time she crawled over Anya while trying to get off her twin bed, but there have been incidents where the result of them falling off almost occurred. 

“If I fall, I will kill you.” 

“At least you would be awake,” said Lexa as she crawled over Anya’s legs and off the bed. She was still wearing the black muscle tee from last night and black plaid boxers. 

“Finally,” mumbled Anya as she flopped over onto her back and made use of the extra room. 

Lexa grabbed her phone and some clothes before exiting her room, shutting the door quietly behind her. Nyko was sleeping on the couch and after doing a quick look over she assumed Indra had already left. She dropped her clothes and phone onto the coffee table before lightly pushing Nyko with her hand. 

“Nyko, wake up,” she whispered. She pushed him again, “wake up, Nyko.” 

He stirred and moved from his side onto his back, opening his eyes. 

“You have an appointment at 10?” she asked, wanting to verify that he indeed still did have a fuckboy problem to sort out at 10. 

“Yes.” There was a few moments of silence before he added, “Commander.” 

“Get up. Go home. Shower. You need to look good for your date.” She walked away from the couch and moved over to an empty area by the window. It was where she did her quick workouts on days when she didn’t think she would be able to go to the gym. 

Nyko was quick to his feet. “Yes, of course.” Lexa was doing sit-ups, still in her boxers and muscle shirt. “Did Indra leave already?” 

“I assume so.” 

“Odd. She usually wakes me before leaving.” He was putting on his boots. It was odd, Lexa supposed. Indra did share an apartment with Nyko and they, along with their currently out-of-town trucker roommate, Gustus, would always walk back together. Why her apartment was the unspoken agreed upon gathering place of her friend group, she wasn’t quite sure. Though, she would reason it had to do with her being the Commander. 

Nyko shrugged his leather jacket on. “Goodbye, Commander. I’ll text you when it’s done.” He left. His assignment/date was to deal with a fuckboy who insisted upon keeping up a fuckbuddy relationship with another man, who had terminated it over two weeks ago. Nyko’s job was to act as the date, or boyfriend, of the man who ended it. It was possible that Nyko would have to ‘date’ this man for a while, depending on if the fuckboy finally respected the man’s decision or not. 

When Lexa finished her quick workout, she took a shower, and made herself breakfast. She considered making breakfast for Anya, but then decided against it. If Anya wants her own damn food, then she can cook it herself. She managed to leave her apartment by 8:30. 

* * *

Raven and Bellamy were sitting in the living room of her apartment. They were both still in the clothes they wore to bed, Bellamy wearing gray shorts but no shirt and Raven wearing a gray tank top and black pants. Bellamy had stayed the night at Raven’s and Clarke’s (and Octavia’s) apartment because he was having roommate trouble again. He was always having roommate trouble. It wasn’t very surprising since his roommate was John Murphy, a guy with a short temper who never let things go. 

They were somehow able to convince Clarke to go down to the coffee shop to get some donuts. It really did take a lot of convincing. Bellamy was about to give up when Clarke said, “Fine, I’ll do it, but you both have to pay and buy me some new art supplies.” They thought it over for a moment before agreeing. 

“So Bell, finally decide what you think of the boy-toy?” Raven asked after she caught up on all her social media accounts. 

“I told you not to call him that,” said Bellamy from the other side of the couch. “And no, not yet.” 

“What? Can’t find anything wrong with him?” 

“No, I need to know more about him.” Bellamy was actually going through Lincoln’s Facebook page at the current moment. 

“Are you into your sister’s boyfriend, Mr. Blake?” Raven teased. 

“What? No! I’m not into guys.” Bellamy said, maybe a little too defensively. 

“That’s not what Murphy said,” Raven mumbled teasingly. 

“What? He told you? When? Why? We were just curious, that’s all!” Bellamy was no longer looking at his phone but at Raven and his face was turning red. 

“Relax Bell. Gay sex isn’t a big deal. I’m actually proud of you. I didn’t know you had it in you,” Raven smirked, “Or…” 

He sighed and confided, “My ass hurt. It was great, but I wouldn’t do it again.” 

“Atta boy, Bell, taking one for the team!” Raven cheered. She looked down at her phone and then back at Bellamy. Her tone was serious as she said, “I’m going to tell you something, but you have to promise me you aren’t going to tell Clarke. I’m serious. Pinky promise me.” She extended her pinky towards Bellamy. 

He wrapped his pinky around hers and said, “I promise I won’t tell Clarke. Now spill the beans, Reyes!” 

“Okay,” she adjusted her position on the couch, “I had sex with Clarke’s mom.” 

Bellamy dropped his jaw, “What? When?” 

“After I found out about Finn. I was upset and Abby was surprisingly comforting.” 

“Was this before or after,” he gestured between the two of them. 

“Why does it matter?” asked Raven. 

“I want to know if I indirectly slept with Clarke’s mom is all.” 

“It was before, so yeah, you kinda did.” 

“YES!” Bellamy fist pumped the air. 

“Hey, I’m the one who did all the work.” 

“Yeah, but I’m one step closer to getting jiggy with Ms. Griffin.” 

“Whatever. Find your own mom to fuck.” Raven tossed one of the couch cushions at Bellamy, who deflected it with his arm. It turned into a pillow fight that only stopped once Clarke came back from her donut run. 

“What are you smiling about Griffindor?” asked Raven heading right for the donuts, “Finally realize what a great idea morning donuts were?” 

“No, it’s nothing,” said Clarke dropping her smile and dropping the donut box on the counter. Then she added, “Ravenclaw.” 

“Why do you guys get cool Harry Potter nicknames?” asked a jealous Bellamy. 

Raven pondered for a moment before saying, “You can be Blako Malfoy.” 

“No. Fuck that, Motherfucker.” 

* * *

Lexa opened the door to the coffee shop, Ton of Donuts & Coffee, affectionally nicknamed Tondc. She made it a habit of grabbing a coffee before work, though she knew as with any daily purchase, the amount of money she spent on coffee added up. However, she didn’t want to know how much money she could be saving by not buying coffee. Money she could be saving to buy the motorcycle she’s always wanted. Regardless of her money saving concerns, she walked up to the end of the line, behind a blonde person wearing baggy sweatpants and the smell of alcohol. 

The person had turned their head to look at something, maybe the wall or, well Lexa didn’t actually know. She did get to see the side of the person’s face. She knew her. It was Clarke. The pretty blonde friend of Lincoln’s new girlfriend. They didn’t say much to each other last night, but they sure did spend quite a bit of time looking at each other. Lexa was sure everybody noticed. Nobody mentioned anything to her yet, though, so maybe they didn’t. The line moved forward and Clarke began ordering donuts. 

When the person behind the cash register asked Clarke if that will be all, Lexa immediately said, “And a coffee, regular,” while stepping up beside Clarke and taking her wallet out. 

“Lexa?” she asked, looking at Lexa, surprised, “No, you don’t have to pay.” 

The cashier looked at them, confused. “No, it’s fine, Clarke.” She took out her debit card and prepared to swipe it. 

“No, seriously, Raven and Bellamy gave me money. I can pay for your coffee,” Clarke argued. 

“No, it’s fine. Keep their money. They don’t have to know.” By now the cashier didn’t care so long as someone paid and Lexa swiped her card, answering any questions the machine asked of her. 

They received their items and walked out of the coffee shop together. Clarke was headed in the same direction as Lexa. “Do you always pay for the person ahead of you?” asked Clarke. 

“Only when they’re pretty blondes,” she replied. It wasn’t a lie. Though, Clarke was the first pretty blonde to be in front of her at the coffee shop. She scolded herself internally for flirting with Clarke. She wasn’t looking for romance, so why bother. Well…unless if Clarke was down for a noncommittal fuck. She scolded herself again. No having sex with pretty blondes you might have to see on a more regular basis. 

Clarke was doing her best to suppress her smile, “Well, I have to say, I’m not used to cute brunettes I hardly know buying me donuts.” 

Lexa thought that maybe her heart started beating faster. Was she flirting with her? Oh no. Did she just call her cute? Oh no. Nobody calls Lexa cute and gets away with it. Okay, her heart was definitely beating faster. Maybe pretty blondes can get away with it. 

They had reached the end of the block. “Well, Clarke, work is that way, so unless you are also going that way, then this is goodbye.” She had pointed to the left of them and Clarke nodded. 

“Where do you work?” 

“I’m a manager at Sportapolis.” 

“Oh. Nice.” 

“For now. Goodbye, Clarke.” Lexa crossed the street and checked her watch. She still had approximately 15 minutes to get to work. Not bad. 

* * *

Lexa’s shift was over and she was walking back home. She had one missed call from an unknown number, a voicemail, and a text from both Nyko and Anya. She looked at the text messages first. 

**Nyko:** _Date is over. Fuckboy showed up like promised. Didn’t seem convinced._

She groaned very quietly, maybe not even at all, it may have only been an internal feeling of groaning. She was sure this had something to do with the Mountain Men. Ever since some fuckboys were smart enough to realize they were having a harder time getting away with their fuckboy actions, they have been on high alert and helping out other fuckboys be fuckboys. They called themselves the Mountain Men and have been doing their best to uncover who all the Grounders were and sharing the results and information of Grounder tactics with any fuckboys they could. They were a pain in Lexa’s ass. The one thing the Grounders had that the Mountain Men didn’t, though, was intimidation. And also numbers. The Mountain Men were relatively new and the news of them hadn’t reached many fuckboys yet. Something that would change with time. Intimidation, though, Lexa was sure her warriors would always have the edge there. 

She looked at the text message from Anya. 

**The Bitch:** _Stop being an ass and tell my sis you’re not mad at her_

That was another problem the Mountain Men caused for Lexa. Anya’s sister, Echo, made a mistake on one of her assignments and revealed herself to a Mountain Man as being a Grounder. It wouldn’t have been so bad if it didn’t cause the fuckboy to not take her seriously anymore and so Lexa had to work out another way for the client to be free of the fuckboy’s annoyance. As Commander, Lexa had no choice but to punish Echo. The punishment was that Echo was not allowed anymore assignments, she had to clean everyone’s bathrooms, and Lexa refused to speak to her or be anywhere near her. Maybe this wasn’t much of a punishment, but it was all Lexa could think of at the time. Plus it wasn’t like it was a real job. Nobody was getting paid. The refusal to speak to or be near Echo seemed to be working out well enough. It meant Echo couldn’t really hang out with the rest of the group, successfully forcing her to remove herself from the inner circle of the Grounders. It wasn’t very fair, but as Commander, she needed to send a message to her warriors: Don’t fuck up. Meanwhile, she was thinking of better, fairer, punishments. 

She listened to the voicemail. The voice sounded somewhat feminine: “Hi, um if this is Grounders can you call me back, please?” they then left a number. It was, obviously, the same number as the person who had called her. 

She was walking past Tondc when she called Nyko. He picked up after the first ring. 

“Hello,” he said. 

“Hello, Nyko. Tell me everything.” 

Nyko then went on to explain that the fuckboy showed up at the restaurant a half hour after the fake date started. He followed the man’s instructions and was very flirtatious prior, during, and after the fuckboy arrived. He made sure to touch the man (with his prior approval) in ways that would seem non-platonic to most people and spent most of the time gazing into his eyes. However, the fuckboy made the comment of “I bet this is a fake date” before leaving. Therefore, Nyko suggested to the man that they should have another encounter to ensure the fuckboy would finally respect the man’s wishes. The man agreed and Nyko went through his obligatory speech where he made sure the man knew that Nyko was in no way romantically interested in him and if the man had developed any sort of feelings for him, then he should call the Commander and set up the next encounter with another warrior. The man understood that Nyko was simply helping him out and agreed to call Nyko to set up the next appointment. Once Nyko finished telling the Commander everything, she was at her apartment, opening the door. 

“Inform me when the next encounter is. I want to do recon.” She opened the door and saw Anya lying on her couch, folding a piece of paper. Then she saw the pile of paper airplanes on the coffee table. 

“Yes, Commander,” replied Nyko. 

“Goodbye.” She ended the call and walked into her bedroom, shouting at Anya, “Don’t waste all of my paper.” 

“Call my sister, then,” Anya yelled back, ignoring Lexa’s request. 

Lexa pulled her jeans off, leaving her in her boxers. She walked back out to the main room of the apartment. “Not yet.” 

Anya threw a paper airplane at Lexa. It wasn’t very good and fell to the floor in front of the target, “Now. She told me not to come home until you did.” 

“You’re going to listen to her. Just like that,” asked Lexa. She grabbed the milk out of the fridge and poured herself a glass. 

“No. It’s been 3 weeks Lexa. Give her a break,” Anya threw another paper airplane at Lexa, hoping it would land in her glass of milk. It didn’t. It did hit Lexa in the arm, though. 

“Okay, fine. One condition: no more paper airplanes.” 

Anya looked at Lexa, paper airplane in hand. They eyed each other. Then Anya was throwing the airplanes as quickly as she could. Most of them missed Lexa, but a few hit the target. “Okay, deal,” said Anya with a smirk. Lexa glared at her. 

“Pick this mess up,” she said. She took a big gulp of milk as she walked over to the couch and sat down. She put her glass of milk on a wooden coaster and grabbed her phone out of her pocket, motioning at Anya, “Go! Pick up your mess.” 

Lexa called Echo. The phone rang for a while and when Echo answered she sounded a bit out of breath. It also sounded as if maybe someone else was with her. Maybe Lexa interrupted something. 

“Hello?” 

“Hello, Echo. This is your Commander. I am not mad at you. I never was. I had to demonstrate to the rest of the warriors what would happen if they let down their guard. I understand that many people know who individual Grounders are, but that is less important than maintaining our strong front and keeping our intimidation factor high. This is something you let falter and as a result a client suffered because of it. I will no longer impose your punishment upon you. You will be allowed assignments and to be in my presence once again. That is all. Goodbye.” Lexa finished her speech and hung up. She didn’t want to interrupt Echo and whoever more than was necessary. 

“Leaving a voicemail?” Anya said, teasing Lexa and sitting back down on the couch. 

“No, but I would not go home yet if I were you,” Lexa replied. 

“Fuck that. Now I am. I want to find out who my sister’s screwing.” Anya jumped up off the couch. Apparently finding out who her sister has sex with is something of interest to Anya. 

Once Anya rushed out of Lexa’s apartment she sent a text to Echo, informing her of her sister’s movements. 

**Commander:** _Anya is on her way._

* * *

Clarke worked at a bookstore called The Ark. It was a peaceful job overall. Sure, there were the occasional rambunctious folk or people who got a little too upset when the store didn’t have a copy of the book they wanted to buy right then, but mostly it was a laid-back environment. The Ark had large windows in the front that Clarke spent her free time looking out of, watching the passersby. It was nice to be able to watch the commotion of the city without having to participate in it. 

It was already 6 o’clock. The bookstore closed at 7. It wasn’t very busy, but it never was past 5. In fact, there was only one person in the bookstore at the moment, and Clarke was texting Monty about it. 

**Clarke:** _Ur boyfriend’s here_

**Monty Python:** _He’s not my boyfriend_

**Clarke:** _Yet_

Monty’s non-boyfriend was at the counter ready to purchase a book. His name was Nathan, but whenever Monty talked about him, he called him by his last name, Miller. “Find everything you were looking for?” asked Clarke habitually. Miller gave her a nod and she grabbed the book and scanned it. “The Violinist’s Thumb,” she looked at the back cover and skimmed the summary spotting words like ‘Pluto,’ ‘genetics,’ ‘backstabbing,’ and ‘DNA.’ “Sounds interesting,” she said, putting the book in a small plastic bag. 

“Yeah, I’m usually not much of a reader,” he confessed. 

Clarke told him the price for the book and he took out a card to pay for it. “This one caught your interest.” 

“I’m only trying to impress someone. They’re really smart.” The transaction was completed. 

“Well, good luck. Have a nice night.” 

“Thank you, you too,” he replied, leaving The Ark. 

**Monty Python:** _Or never_

**Clarke:** _He bought a book to impress someone. bet it was u!_

**Monty Python:** _What book_

**Clarke:** _Violinist’s thumb_

**Monty Python:** _Never read it_

**Clarke:** _It’s about dna and pluto??_

**Monty Python:** _Strange combo_

**Clarke:** _Ask him out!_

**Monty Python:** _No!_

**Clarke:** _Yes!_

**Monty Python:** _Only if you ask out Lincoln’s friend_

**Clarke:** _No changing the subject_

**Monty Python:** _You’re the one changing the subject_

**Clarke:** _Idk what ur talking about_

**Monty Python:** _I’ll ask out Miller only if you ask out Lincoln’s friend_

**Clarke:** _Idk what one ur even talking about_

**Monty Python:** _The one you were having a staring match with_

**Clarke:** _She had something on her face. wasn’t sure if i should tell her_

**Monty Python:** _Yeah, your eyes_

**Clarke:** _Whatever. ask miller out_

**Monty Python:** _You know when_

* * *

Clarke was lying in bed that night, trying to sleep. Nights were always the worst. That was when she couldn't get the thoughts of him out of her mind. He was so nice and thoughtful and Clarke fell for him quick. She thought about how good he made her feel. The mini deer figurine he made her. How he encouraged her, praised her, and joked with her. How he called her princess. Being with him made Clarke happy. Then she found out the truth. She found out he was a cheating, lying asshole who was spending his time away from her loving another woman. Loving Raven. They ended up meeting because of Clarke’s mom. Raven had been helping her mother with a number of projects around the house when Clarke brought Finn over for dinner. It was very tense and Finn left dinner quite early, leaving Clarke abandoned at her mother’s house. The two somehow became friends over the ordeal. Since Raven had been living with Finn, she needed somewhere to crash until she found a more permanent housing solution and as a result stayed at Clarke's mom's house until she moved in with Clarke and Octavia. 

Clarke hadn’t dated since then. True, it had only been a few months, but the idea of romance didn’t sit well with her anymore. She wasn’t ready yet. She wasn’t ready for that kind of trust. She didn’t think Raven was either, but Raven hid it well. Or maybe she hid it in the alcohol and the people she fucked. 

Her mind drifted to Lexa. There was an attraction there. At least on her end. Because of Finn she didn’t want to explore it. She would only end up getting hurt again, but sex didn’t have to mean anything. Maybe she would bury her grief in Lexa, the same way Raven buried her grief in Bellamy. There was really only one way to find out. 

* * *

**The Bitch:** _You work Saturday?_

**Chief:** _No._

Lexa was at home playing Fallout 3 and looking over the schedule for the Grounders. She wanted to make sure there were no conflicting schedules and that every client was securely accounted for. The Grounders needed to run as smoothly as possible. She was also being texted by Anya. 

**The Bitch:** _We’re going out_

**Chief:** _You can. I’m not._

**The Bitch:** _Suck it up. Your ass is going out Saturday_

**Chief:** _My ass is staying in my apartment Saturday._

**The Bitch:** _Quite moping over the past. It’s been 5 years_

**Chief:** _Shut up. I will mope whenever I want._

**The Bitch:** _The hell you will_

**The Bitch:** _We’re going out Saturday. We’re going to drink alcohol and get high as fuck_

**Chief:** _Is Indra going?_

**The Bitch:** _Fuck no. You never get any pussy with her around_

**Chief:** _I’m not going._

**The Bitch:** _I will drag you if I have to_

**The Bitch:** _Lincoln will drag you too_

**The Bitch:** _Ignoring me doesn’t work. I know you’re reading this_

**The Bitch:** _I won’t let you mope about on Costia’s anniversary_

**The Bitch:** _Move on. Make her proud_

**Chief:** _Fuck you._


	3. Nothing Was More Important

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda like the texting convos and might incorporate more of them into the story.
> 
> I made a tumblr so yeah...haven't really done anything with it yet but I'm working on it. It's cannibalnextdoor.tumblr.com if you want that info.
> 
> Also I'm really bad with staying in the correct tense, but I try.

It was morning and Clarke didn’t want to get up. She wanted to stay within the warmth of her blankets all day and never move. She wished she could live in her bed, never having to leave because of responsibility. She would have to get up eventually, though. She sat up and unplugged her phone from the end of the bed, lying back down and catching up on all that happened throughout the night. Clarke simultaneously loved and hated mornings like this –where she could relax in her bed, yet awake with the gnawing sense of unavoidable responsibility.

She could hear Octavia talking on the phone somewhere outside of her room. She figured out that the conversation was with Lincoln after hearing her roommate say his name, though she couldn’t make out much of what was being said. 

After some time she heard, Octavia say “Bye” and knock on her closed door. 

“I’m up,” Clarke said and Octavia entered, cell phone in hand. 

“Do you want to go out Saturday?” she asked, standing in the doorway in her underwear and brown tank top. 

“No. I’m going to stay in and draw.” 

“Okay, well, Lincoln and I are going out. I guess, it’s a special day for Lexa or something and he and Anya are taking her out. He wants me to invite some people, but not too many so I’d thought ask my roomies first.” Octavia stood there for a couple seconds and then said, “I’ll leave you alone now,” and walked out, closing the door behind her. 

A special day for Lexa? She would ask Octavia more about that later. Maybe she would go. Saturday wasn’t until a couple of days from now, so she could change her mind. Maybe by then her mind would forget about Lexa, forget about the cute brunette who called her pretty and bought her donuts. Yeah, she needed to forget about her, just like she needed to forget about Finn. 

She received a text message from Raven. 

**That’s So Raven:** _U should go sat_

**Clarkometer:** _How do u already know? R u home?_

**That’s So Raven:** _Nah still at jas & monts_

**That’s So Raven:** _O called_

**Clarkometer:** _R u guys blowing stuff up?_

**That’s So Raven:** _Nah that was last night_

**That’s So Raven:** _Still u should go_

**Clarkometer:** _I’ll think about it_

And think about it she did. Finally late at night she decided. _Fuck it, I’ll go. Maybe it’ll be fun._ Though, really if she was being honest to herself, she really decided to go because maybe she’ll get to know more about Lexa, maybe she’ll get in her pants, who knows where the night will lead. 

Octavia was ecstatic that Clarke was “getting her fun back,” though Octavia shifted uncomfortably when Clarke asked why it was Lexa’s special day. 

“Look, Clarke, I don’t know,” started Octavia. She was sitting with her legs on the couch, facing Clarke. Small braids decorated her brown hair, Lincoln must have done it earlier when she went to see him. “He was kinda weird about it and told me not to ask her anything personal or say anything rude, even if she’s being a jerk. He’s not even going to pick me up, I have to meet him there. If they weren’t friends for so long and she wasn’t gay, I’d probably be a little jealous.” No personal questions? That’s not a way to get to know someone, but Clarke could deal. Lexa must have her reasons, just like Clarke doesn’t want anyone asking about Finn. 

“So we have no idea what we’re,” Clarke paused. She was going to say celebrating, but with what Octavia said, it didn’t sound like Lexa was celebrating anything. Grieving, perhaps. “going out for?” 

“To have fun!” Octavia exclaimed. 

The apartment door opened and a worn-out Raven stumbled in. “I don’t know how I’m getting to work tomorrow,” she slurred. 

“Clarke’s gonna party Saturday!” yelled Octavia and Raven lifted her arms up into the air and shouted ‘Woo!’ 

* * *

“And then he sent you a picture of his penis?” Lexa asked. She was on the phone with a client who wanted help with texting a fuckboy. 

“Yeah and I didn’t want to see it. I never wanted to see it. Hold on.” There was a pause. “He wants me to ‘return the favor.’ What should I say? It’s gotta be like something witty that’ll hurt his ego.” 

“Hmm. Let me think,” Lexa said. She pondered for a moment. “Okay, there are two routes I think you could take. If you know his mother, you could inform her of the picture, showing her if necessary. In my experience, the mother is the number one way to deter a fuckboy. Once you get their mother to scold them, you don’t have to worry anymore. The other route is, well…I should ask you first. Are you by any chance in the medical field?” Lexa spoke all of this calmly. Sometimes people only needed advice to deal with their fuckboy problems and not an in-person operation. 

“No, I’m a waitress, but I do know his mom. We go to the same church and if she knew the kind of stuff her son has been sending me, she would freak the fuck out. It’s perfect. Thank you. Like so much. This is going to be great. Oh, thank you again. Bye.” 

The woman hung up before she could hear Lexa’s other suggestion, but she seemed very happy with the first one so it didn’t matter at all. Mothers, Lexa liked to think, were honorary Grounders. They may have raised fuckboys, but as far as Lexa knew, there was nothing scarier to a fuckboy than his mother after finding out he’s a fuckboy. _Another bites the dust,_ she thinks regarding the fuckboy who was going to meet his worst nightmare. 

Her phone started to ring and she thought it was another client until she saw that it was Lincoln. She hit ignore and sighed. Him and Anya were annoying her with their incessant desire to get Lexa to go out Saturday. What was wrong with staying home? A death anniversary is not something Lexa wanted to celebrate. And so what if it had been five years, technically it wasn’t five years yet, but almost. Lexa just wanted a peaceful night in and apparently that was too much to ask of Anya and Lincoln. Maybe she could get Indra to talk some sense into them. She dialed her number. 

* * *

Someone’s phone was ringing and Echo thought it was hers. She was trying to reach for it, but it’s really hard to when someone has their hands on her butt and their mouth on her pussy. They just don’t care that she finally grabbed the ringing device and when she answers the phone, that’s when they decide to nip at her clit. “Hel-lo.” 

There is a pause, because the other person is checking to see if they called the correct number. They drag out her name, confusion dripping throughout its pronunciation. “Echo?” It’s Lexa. Great. 

Echo didn’t know what to do because the person between her legs won’t stop and she’s not about to talk to the Commander while she’s getting ate out. “I’ll…call you back.” She hung up the phone. The phone that wasn’t even hers and instead belonged to person eating her out, belonged to Indra. Something she wouldn't realize until later. 

* * *

Lexa didn’t know what to do. She did call Indra and…Lexa knew what was going on, she simply didn’t know what to do about it. She wasn’t going to tell Anya, wasn’t going to confront the two, because they can do whatever the hell they want, but she certainly wasn’t going to call “Indra” back. She figured the only thing she really could do was ignore what happened, act like it didn’t happen, which was exactly what Echo was going to do, too. 

* * *

It was Saturday and Raven, Jasper, Octavia, and Clarke were sitting in the apartment. They were the only ones going to the party that night. Monty couldn’t because of work commitment and Octavia forbid anyone of telling her brother. She wanted a night to let loose and have fun. Jasper was only coming because Octavia had asked him before Clarke changed her mind and it didn’t seem fair for him to be uninvited. Especially since he was “super stoked to party with my gal-pals.” 

“O, your brother won’t stop texting me. He wants to know why we’re all being ‘super shady about our Saturday night plans,’” said Clarke. She was sitting on the side of the couch nearest to the window. 

“Yeah, he won’t stop texting me either. I just told him I’m going to go fuck-” Raven stopped. She was about to say ‘your mom,’ but she didn’t need Clarke knowing that detail of her personal life. “Uh, some guys.” Nice recovery, Reyes. 

“Tell him you’re going to the store to look at the new tampon models,” yelled Octavia from the kitchen, “that’s what I did.” 

Clarke squinted at Raven. “You have someone in mind, don’t you? Who is it?” 

Right now would be a great time to say ‘your mom’ if it wasn’t for the fact that Reyes had already in fact done that. “You don’t know him.” 

Jasper walked in from the kitchen carrying a plate of pot brownies. “Fresh out of the oven,” he said in a sing-songy way. “Is it that new guy you were telling me about? Wick? Wicken?” 

Raven only mentioned Wick once or twice to Jasper, but he was a bro and was probably trying to help her out with the pickle she got herself into. “Yeah. Wick.” She nodded. 

“What’s this about a Wick?” asked Octavia as she pranced into the room. 

“That’s who Raven told Bellamy she’s having sex with tonight,” responded Clarke. 

“Oh, nice.” Octavia put her hand up to give Raven a high-five, which she received. 

“Am I the only one who is going to eat these pot brownies?” Jasper asked, dramatically from his seat on the floor. 

“Hush, I need to think of something to tell Bell.” Clarke was looking at her phone again. 

“You could tell him anything and he’d believe it,” said Raven. “Tell him you’re drawing. Or tell him you’re going with O to look at tampons.” 

**Clarke:** _I’m drawing_

**Amy Bell:** _Laaammmee_

**Clarke:** _Whatever_

* * *

“Lexa. Open the door. Now.” It was Anya. Lincoln was with her, but he was standing to the side, silent. 

“I don’t want to go out,” she said it sternly to match the tone Anya had. She was wishing right now that she didn’t give Anya a key to her apartment. Anya didn’t use it much, but she did today to get in Lexa’s locked apartment. Lexa had herself locked in the bathroom, leaning against the sink. 

“Come on Lexa. We can leave after a few hours if you’re miserable. Now open the damn door. I will bust it open.” Lexa had no doubt that Anya would break down her bathroom door just to drag her to some club. Anya could be stubborn. 

“Fine, but when I say we leave, we leave.” 

“Deal. Now unlock this door.” 

Lexa unlocked the door, but went back to her leaning position against the sink. 

“You’re not going to cooperate at all.” Anya said it as a statement, but it was also a question, one that Lexa nodded to in agreement. 

Lincoln walked into the bathroom, grabbed Lexa by the shoulders and spun her around so her back was facing him. Her hair was down and he began to braid it. He and Anya were going to have to get Lexa ready to go out tonight. 

Lincoln braided her hair, Anya did her makeup and picked out her clothes. Anya was ready and about to undress and dress Lexa herself until Lexa finally dropped her stubbornness and pushed her out of the room to do it herself. They didn’t even have to hold her hand as they got a taxi to the club, Mount Weather. 

Octavia and the group were already there when they arrived. Lincoln wrapped his arms around his girlfriend and pulled her in for a kiss. 

“Hey, you guys want any pot brownies?” asked Jasper immediately, grabbing the edge of his blue jacket and pulling it out a bit. 

Anya threw her arm over Lexa’s shoulder, “The Chief here would love a pot brownie.” 

“Nice,” said Jasper. He pulled a baggie containing five brownies out of his jacket. “And what about the Chief’s second-in-command?” 

“Absolutely.” 

“Where’s Clarke and Raven?” Lincoln asked after he finally stopped kissing Octavia. “You said they were coming, right?” 

“Yeah,” responded Octavia. She was standing in front of Lincoln, who had his arms wrapped around her and his hands in hers. “They’re out on the dance floor.” 

Jasper was holding out the pot brownies for Lexa and Anya. Anya grabbed hers and took a bite. “Make this yourself?” He was still waiting for Lexa to take hers. 

“My specialty,” he said pointing the index finger of his left hand upward. 

“Stuff it in her face,” Anya suggested about the brownie. 

“If she didn’t look so fierce, then maybe.” 

“It’s an act.” 

“I’m going to the bathroom,” announced Lexa, shrugging off Anya’s arm and making her way to the restroom. 

She sat in the second-to-last stall, next to the designated handicap stall. How could she even think about having fun when the person she loved was dead? Dead, having died on this day, five years ago? It didn’t feel right. Her fiancé was dead and that was on her. If she didn’t call Costia right then. If she had only waited, Costia wouldn’t have reached for the phone in the passenger seat, she wouldn’t have swerved. She would have seen the deer. She wouldn’t have been lying crushed in car for so long with an antler puncturing her kidney. Lexa couldn’t even have the relief of knowing that wasn’t what killed Costia, because she still died. Lexa was still the reason she was dead. Lexa killed Costia. She knew that, that’s why she hated this day. It wasn’t only the day her fiancé died, it was the day she became a killer. 

Lexa knew she was crying, but she didn’t care. She let the tears roll down her face one by one. This was what she had to live with. She had to live with being the killer of her fiancé. She believed she deserved the punishment of living after what happened. Costia’s body rejected Lexa’s kidney. It wasn’t supposed to, but it still did despite the tests that said it wouldn’t. It felt like Lexa was trying to kill Costia, that when she didn’t die in that car crash she had to send in her kidney to finish the job. 

Her phone kept going off in her pocket as she was crying. Anya. 

**The Bitch:** _You’ve been in there a long time_

**The Bitch:** _Come out_

**The Bitch:** _If I come in there you better be fucking someone_

**The Bitch:** _I’m coming in_

**The Bitch:** _Nevermind. Clarke’s headed in_

Lexa hadn’t heard anyone come in and that last text was from five minutes ago. She wiped her eyes, hoping that her makeup didn’t smear, that it wasn’t running down her face. When she felt composed enough she opened the stall door, she could fix herself at the mirror. 

Clarke was staring at her from the mirror, eyes red and puffy like she too was crying. They stared at each other, neither moving. It was Clarke who finally moved, walking towards Lexa. She shoved her into the handicap stall and locked the door. They kissed, hard and needy, uncaring. Hands gripping shoulders and waists as they moved backwards until Clarke was backed up into the dirty bathroom wall. She was wearing a skirt and Lexa’s hand shot up under it, moving aside underwear so she could touch Clarke’s center, rubbing her hand up and down before slipping a finger inside. They weren’t kissing anymore. Instead Lexa’s head was on Clarke’s shoulder and she was sobbing again. Crying as she thrust her finger, and then fingers, inside Clarke. And Clarke was crying too, she had a leg wrapped around Lexa’s waist. When Lexa realized it wasn’t just her crying, she froze, but Clarke was pushing herself up and down, riding Lexa’s immobile fingers the best she could. She continued fucking Clarke and Clarke had her right hand down under her skirt and underwear, rubbing circles around her clit. Her head was on Lexa’s left shoulder, tears running down the leather jacket. They kept up the motions. The tears and the fucking. Until Clarke reached her peak and she came. Lexa sat her down on the lidded toilet and left. Clarke felt more miserable than before she was fucked in a dirty bathroom stall by Lexa. She was miserable. 

* * *

Lexa stormed into her bedroom and slammed the door, followed by Anya who gently opened the door and wrapped her arms around Lexa. 

“What’s wrong?” Anya asked softly. 

Lexa shook the arms off of her and rested her hands on the top of the bookshelf, leaning her forehead against the two-centimeter thick board on the top shelf. She didn’t say anything. 

“Is it Costia?” Anya’s voice was still soft. She didn’t approach Lexa, didn’t try to hold her, just stood there. 

“Sort of,” said Lexa. They stayed silent for a moment, Anya standing there waiting for Lexa to do something, anything. They stood there, Anya watching her best friend still trying to hold herself together. Minutes passed. Lexa finally turned around and Anya embraced her, holding together the cracked pieces of the woman. “I fucked Clarke,” was all she said. 

“So what?” she asked softly, “You couldn’t keep your eyes off her at the bar. You wanted to fuck her.” She could feel the woman shaking from the force of the internal cries that ripped through her. “You want to do more than fuck her.” She said it like a question and Lexa nods. “You’re such a hopeless romantic.” 

Anya held the woman. Held the woman she’s been best friends with for years, the one she’s watched fall in love and fall apart. Her best friend. She held her, listening as she sobbed out what happened. How she fucked Clarke in a dirty bathroom stall while crying about Costia. How Costia is dead and it’s all her fault, though everybody tells her it isn’t. How she’s nothing, deserves nothing. Anya held her as she stopped talking and just cried. She’s never been good at being comforting, but Lexa needed her. Lexa, who pretends to be heartless, but has the biggest heart of anyone Anya has ever known. She’s already decided that she’s going to call in sick tomorrow, because Lexa needs her and she’s afraid of what Lexa will do. She’s seen what grief does to her and she doesn’t want to leave her alone. 

When Lexa’s sobs were no longer shaking her entire body and her tears stilled, Anya softly whispers to her, pulling her lightly along, “Come on, Commander.” 

Anya led her to the couch and sat down, Lexa lying down with her head in Anya’s lap. She leaned forward, grabbed the TV remote and Xbox controller, and put on the show Friends. Not for the actual show, though, because Lexa hates the fuckboy Ross Geller with a passion, but for the canned laughter. The TV is at a low volume and the sounds of the show filled the air quietly, Anya carefully and gently running her fingers through the delicately braided hair of Lexa’s. They stayed like that for possibly hours before Lexa finally fell asleep. 

Anya was still awake. Still running her fingers lightly through Lexa’s hair. “Sorry I’m such a bitch,” she whispered. “I want you happy.” It wasn't long after that that Anya falls asleep too. 

A few hours later, Lexa woke up. She turned the TV off and rolled over, so her head was facing Anya’s stomach, curling her legs up into the fetal position. She’s just a weak child in need of protection. Anya woke up at the sensation of Lexa’s movements, but she didn’t make it known. She stayed still, letting Lexa have what she needed. 

When they both woke up mid-morning, Anya made breakfast while Lexa showered. She made pancakes and bacon and called one of her fellow chefs to see if they can cover her shift, which they could. She knew Lexa won’t want to talk about what happened last night, but Anya knew it was her duty to be there for the strong, sensitive Commander. To be there for her friend, even if she won’t talk. Even if she pretends everything is alright. 

* * *

Clarke woke up the next morning sandwiched between Raven and Octavia. She remembered the night before. Nothing felt right. Everything felt wrong. Grief it turned out, can’t be fucked out. She knew that. Lexa and Raven probably knew that too. If anything, she felt more miserable than yesterday. Like maybe Lexa fucked her grief into Clarke. Arms tightened around her and a head nuzzled the back of her neck. “Good morning.” Raven. 

“Morning,” Clarke whispered back. If it was possible to stop existing entirely, then that was what she wanted to happen. She wanted to disappear out of existence for good with nobody noting her absence, like maybe she never existed at all. 

That was more than she could hope for. She would simply have to become accustomed to the feelings of hurt, pain, and total lack of desire to do anything that consumed her body and mind. 

“How are you feeling?” It was Raven again. 

“Like shit.” 

“I don’t know what happened in the bathroom last night, but you guys were in there for a long time. When you came out it looked like you had been crying. If I need to beat a bitch up for you, I will. Say the word and it’s done.” 

Octavia had woken up and joined the conversation, “I will too. I don’t care if she’s Lincoln’s friend. I will take her down.” 

“Thanks, but,” the words felt heavy on Clarke’s tongue like she was revealing a secret she promised to keep, “she was crying too.” 

“Oh,” they both said. They all laid in the bed, silent. Nothing was more important than lying there with Clarke and letting her feel the support they both offered her. Nothing was more important than holding their friend together as she was mending herself.


	4. I Hope You Can Learn To Love Surprises Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been a while since I've updated. I was busy with finals, then moving, spontaneous friend hangouts, started working again, and going to sleep much earlier (I usually wrote at night). I'm not sure how often my updates are going to be, but I'll try to aim for at least once every two weeks (hopefully more often but who knows). Also not sure about the updates because I think I'm going to write a story for my best friend for her birthday in 3 months so I have that possibly happening too.
> 
> Anywho, you can always come talk to me on my tumblr (cannibalnextdoor.tumblr.com). 
> 
> I hope you like this chapter! :)

Lexa and Anya were eating Chinese on the vermillion couch, Lexa with chicken fried rice and Anya with black pepper chicken, while watching the movie _Heathers_ on Netflix. They weren’t too engrossed in the movie as they had both seen it several times before. It was a mutual favorite.

“Anya…about last night,” Lexa began.

“Stop.”

“No, it’s just I don’t think I’ll ever be over Costia,” confessed Lexa.

“Who says you have to get over her?” asked Anya.

Lexa looked at her best friend, slight disbelief covering her countenance, “You. You keep insisting I move on.”

“Move on from the past. You don’t have to stop loving her.”

“I don’t know how to do that.” Lexa looked back to watch the movie as she ate more of her food.

“It’s a slow process, but you have been.”

A silence settled between them as they ate and watched _Heathers._

 The silence lasted relatively twenty minutes before Lexa broke it again, “That was the first girl I liked in a long while. In that way. And now I fucked it up.”

“So you fucked a girl while crying. We all do it sometime,” Anya deadpanned.

“Have you?” Lexa inquired. This was news to her. Unless, of course, it was a joke.

”Of course. Remember Luna?” Anya said casually. How could Lexa forget the girl who thirsted after Anya all through high school?

“You never told me you fucked her. When did this happen?” Lexa felt a bit offended that Anya never disclosed this information to her. They were supposed to be best friends or something, after all.

Anya turned her head away from Lexa and said, “It was after Costia.”

“Oh.” Lexa understood the unspoken sentence. _I didn’t want to upset you._ “I still wish you would have told me.”

“I was upset. We all were, but you…I needed to be strong for you,” Anya wasn’t one to confess the things she did for her friends. She liked to work behind the scenes.

“I can be strong for myself, Anya.” It came out cold, harsh. Anya shifted on the couch, turning her gaze solely on Lexa and squinting her eyes the slightest bit.

“Prove it.” It was a challenge. A challenge for Lexa to prove she was not weak. Anya had cornered her: either she contacts Clarke, or she is weak.

“After the movie,” replied Lexa. It would give her time to figure out what to do. She would have to contact Clarke whether or not she wanted to. She was not quite sure how she would do it.

“Fine. You’re bound to your word, though.” Anya returned her attention to the movie.

They sat there watching the movie, occasionally laughing and occasionally talking about some mundane that happened at work or elsewhere.

Lexa didn’t want to interact with Clarke ever again. It would be different if they only fucked, but Clarke saw Lexa cry and that crossed a line. But god it wasn’t just that she was crying, it was also why. She cried over Costia while fucking Clarke. Who does that? She was barely paying attention to the movie now. She needed to get her mind off of all this stuff. She needed a distraction.

She knew the movie had ended but she was still startled when Anya asked “So, what are you going to do?”

“You will do it,” Lexa stated. She looked over at Anya who had her feet up on the coffee table.

“What?”

“I want you to go and give Clarke my number right now. Tell her only to contact me if she agrees to forget about last night. I have somewhere else I need to go.” Lexa stood up as soon as she finished speaking.

“Are you serious?” asked Anya. “You want me to go, right now, find out where she lives and give her your number.” It was both a question and a statement that Anya was making.

“Correct.” Lexa was in the kitchen, throwing away the empty food containers. “Make sure she understands the terms.”

Anya sighed, moving into the kitchen. “Call Lincoln and ask for her address.”

“You’re capable of doing that yourself.”

“Do it.” The women glared at each other, waiting for one to finally falter and make the call. Seconds ticked by, possibly minutes. “You’re impossible, you know that?”

“Of course,” replied Lexa. She strolled past her friend and headed to her bedroom.

She could hear her friend talking to Lincoln as she put a pair of jeans on over her boxers and grabbed a light green dress shirt from her closet. Anya was explaining the situation in as vague of a way she could manage while also convincing him to give her the address. Quickly, she looked through the few ties she owned before deciding to wear a dark green and blue plaid one. The conversation between Anya and Lincoln ended sometime while Lexa was buttoning up her shirt and the door to her bedroom was opened when she finished the top button.

“Where are you going?” Anya had asked, standing in the doorway with her phone in hand.

Lexa was beginning to tie her tie and simply replied, “Out.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“It is.”

“Not an answer I want.”

“It’s the answer you get,” Lexa said as she was tightening her tie.

“Fine. I will be off to deliver your number then, Chief.” Anya strode away from the doorway and over to the front door.

  

* * *

 

 

She knocked on the door that supposedly belonged to Clarke’s apartment. Hopefully this would be quick so she could go home and…do something. Maybe try to figure out who Echo’s secret lover is again.

The door opened and the woman known as Raven stood in its place, “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“I need to speak to Clarke,” Anya said, looking Raven up and down quickly.

“Well that’s one way into a girl’s apartment, but unfortunately she’s not here,” Raven lied.

“Then I need to leave a message, so perhaps it is best I come inside,” said Anya. She was standing there coolly with her hands in her jacket pockets.

“Perhaps it is,” replied Raven with a light tone. She moved to the side and let Anya stride in and the door close behind her.

Anya found her way to the couch and sat down as if she either belonged here or was here before and asked coolly, “Do you have a pen and paper?”

Raven grabbed a chair from the table and put it down next to the couch and then sat on it. “You’re going to tell me what this is about first.”

Anya stared at the woman, perhaps studying her to tell if she was serious or not. When it was decided that Raven was indeed serious, Anya replied, “My friend seems to be under the impression that she got off to a bad start with your friend and would like to begin anew.”

There was tension in the air. Raven didn’t know the exact nature of the tension, whether they were ready to fight or fuck…or both. “Your friend made my friend cry.” It was bitter.

Anya leaned back, putting her arms behind the couch and her boot-clad feet on the coffee table, “And here she thought she fucked everything up.”

“As far as I’m concerned she did,” said Raven, her eyes glued to Anya in a slight glare.

“That’s not for you to decide, is it? Besides I am merely a messenger. What is done with the message is up to your friend to decide, and I suppose you as well. I will give you the benefit of my doubt and trust that you will allow your friend to make her own decision in regards to this.”

“And if I don’t then that makes me a bad friend doesn’t it?” Raven responded coldly.

“Yes, it would make you overprotective and more like a parent than a friend but do what you want.” There was a slight pause and Anya spoke again before Raven could, “pen and paper?”

Raven narrowed her eyes at the woman on the couch and asked, “why couldn’t your friend come herself?”

“The same reason you told me your friend wasn’t home when she is,” Anya replied, arms and legs still maintaining their positions. She had noticed the possible signs and then took a guess.

“The same reason? Not even the slightest bit of difference?”

“I’m acting as a buffer for Lexa, same as you with Clarke.”

Raven stood up, “Vagueness can make just about anything seem the same.” She walked over to the kitchen counter and picked up a notebook and pen.

“If it weren’t for vagueness, people would think they are entirely original.”

Raven walked the short distance back to the couch and handed the notebook and pen to Anya. Sitting back down in the chair she asked, “Who’s to say they’re not?”

Anya started writing down the message as she replied, “I believe I just said they’re not.”

“If a tree falls in a forest and nobody is around to hear it, then did it really make a sound?”

“Of course,” said Anya still writing the message.

“What came first the chicken or the egg?” asked Raven.

“Egg. Where would the chicken have come from if there was no egg?”

“Fair enough,” Raven said, pausing, “why did the chicken cross the road?”

“To get to an important meeting on the other side,” Anya replied coolly.

“What kind of important meeting?” inquired Raven.

“I do not know the type of meetings chickens attend,” she stated, finishing the message and handing the notebook and pen to Raven as she stood. “Make sure Clarke understands not to contact Lexa unless she agrees to the terms that they both forget about last night.” She gave Raven a quick look up and down again. “The other number is mine. Contact me if you want any casual sex. I don’t do romance.”

She headed towards the door and heard Raven say behind her, “Will do.”

Once the apartment door closed, Raven looked at the message:

_Lexa would like to start over. Only if you would like to pretend last night didn’t occur then contact her at_

The rest of the message was Lexa’s phone number. There was another phone number written near the end of the page, which Raven added into her phone under the contact: **Hot Stuff**. She then changed the contact name from **Hot Stuff** to **Hot Damn** and then back to **Hot Stuff** then **Anya** before settling on **Anyalicious**.

She got up and knocked on the door to Clarke’s room and waiting for a response. It came in the form of “come in,” to which she did.

“Lexa wants you to text her,” Raven said, handing Clarke the notebook. Clarke was on her stomach lying on her bed, hands on the keyboard of her laptop. “And she wants you to forget about last night. My advice is th-”

“Okay.”

“-at you forget about her and-”

“I’ll text her.”

“-steer clear. I don’t know what happened but as far as-”

“It’s fine.”

“-I’m concerned anyone who makes you cry the-”

“I’d rather not remember it either.”

“-second time you see them is not someone you want to invest in a relationship with,” Raven finally finished.

“Raven, it’s fine,” Clarke repeated. She had closed her laptop by now and moved into a sitting position.

“Are you sure? Do what you want, but,” her tone turned softer, caring, “just be careful.”

“It’s fine. I don’t think I’m going to text her for a while, though,” said Clarke, “I want to let that memory fade a bit first.”

“Okay, well, you can always talk to me,” Raven was exiting the room when she added, “I will beat her up if you need me to.”

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa was walking down the street. She couldn’t get her mind off of Costia, Clarke, and last night. It was overwhelming her. She had a tendency to fuck things up, didn’t she? She deserved every ounce of pain she got. At least that’s what she told herself. For some reason she wanted pain, the physical kind that is. She would always prefer it to the emotional turmoil that raged itself inside her. Except, her situation wasn’t that bad. Sure she fucked a girl. So what if she liked her? It happens. Maybe she did cry a bit, so did she. And sure it was over Costia, but…fuck who was she kidding? She was so weak in that moment. So weak after. She just needed to forget, so it was no surprise when she realized she had walked into a strip club.

She walked over to the bar and ordered a Jack and Coke. Strips clubs weren’t a place she went to very often, she didn’t enjoy the atmosphere. It wasn’t the workers, they were offering a service that was obviously in demand (based upon the number of people here) and from what she could tell were being adequately paid for it (maybe not, it was hard to tell), but rather it was the customers, and Lexa couldn’t deny that her being here included her in that group. The group that eagerly paid for this service, yet at the same time said words meant to be degrading towards the same people who supplied the service. Lexa didn’t like to think of herself as being the same as them but by being here she felt that maybe she was one of them. Maybe despite her efforts against fuckboys, she too was a fuckboy. Just a dirty, good for nothing fuckboy.

When she got her Jack and Coke she moved over to a spot near the wall where no one else was and stood there watching the stage, occasionally taking a drink. The woman on the stage moved smoothly around the pole, wearing only a bikini. Lexa watched her movements, watched how her body flexed and how she had no emotion as she went about her routine. Dropping low, climbing up, thighs gripping the pole, and spinning around while men yelled vulgar things and threw money towards her. Even with her eyes entranced by the dancer, her thoughts still turned to Costia, turned to Clarke, turned to last night. She needed to forget.

It wasn’t a surprise when she found herself in room for a private lap dance. She had been informed that she was not allowed to touch the dancer, which Lexa had no intention of doing anyway. The chair she was sitting on had no armrests and so she moved her arms farther back. Music started playing as a woman strutted into the room, the way she walked demanded Lexa’s attention. She was wearing a black bikini and pushed her hair up with her hand before turning around and dropping low, moving her ass downward in the space between Lexa’s legs. She brought her ass back up and Lexa was staring at it, the enticing curvature of it, as the woman’s hips moved to the rhythm of the music. She turned around and placed herself on Lexa’s lap, grinding. She could already feel wetness starting to pool in her crotch.

Stroking Lexa’s tie, then grabbing it and pulling it to bring Lexa slightly closer, the woman asked, “So what’s a girl like you doing here?” She was still grinding herself on Lexa’s lap and combined with the way the tie was stroked and pulled, arousal shot through Lexa.

She moved her eyes from the woman’s hips to her eyes, “Trying to forget.”

The woman grinded herself further up Lexa’s body, whispering, “I can do that.”

She leaned up Lexa’s body, whose nose grazed the space between the woman’s breasts. Her whole body was heating up. She was entranced. The woman turned around and slowly slid her ass down Lexa’s stomach to her crotch, Lexa’s arms grabbing the side of the chair. Hips moved as the woman grinded down on Lexa repeatedly. Lexa’s hands tightened around the side of the chair and the woman leaned back as she slid off her. Running her hands over her body, Lexa’s eyes watched the movements of the woman. She put her hands on Lexa’s shoulders and dipped her body down. Lexa’s focus was solely on this woman. This woman who kept building up her arousal with every second.

One thing was for sure, she did forget.

 

* * *

 

 

The next morning, Lexa woke up, showered, and went through her morning routine. She thought about stopping at Ton of Donuts & Coffee, but decided not to, in case Clarke was there. Maybe it was too early to tell if Clarke agreed to the terms, since she had yet to receive a text, but regardless she was not ready to face the pretty blonde. Last night helped her clear her mind for a while, something she had desperately needed, though her mind still managed to turn itself onto topics she would rather not think about. She did have some moments of clarity last night, after she had got back home and fucked herself, while she fell asleep. Those moments of clarity presented themselves once again in the morning, though unwanted thoughts still found their way into her mind. Still the moments of clarity were enough for her to think of a strategic plan against fuckboys. For now she sent a group text to some of the Grounders:

**Commander:** _Group meeting. Today. My_   _apartment. 8 pm._

She received responses indicating that her warriors would be there throughout the day. By 7:30, all invited parties arrived: Nyko, Lincoln, Echo, Indra, and Anya. Gustus was still out of town, as his occupation of truck driver often had him, and was only an honorary member of the Grounders as Lexa never actually gave him a mission when he was home (he deserved to have the time to relax).

Pizza boxes, plates, and beer were on the counter and everybody except Lexa was helping themselves before sitting down at the table. Once they were all settled, Lexa began the meeting.

“As you are aware, the Mountain Men have been attempting to dismantle us, and as of yet we have done nothing to prevent them from doing such,” she spoke from the decided ‘head’ of the circular table, being she was the only one standing. “From now on, we are going to take an offensive approach to the Mountain Men. We must eliminate this threat before it becomes too great and devours us.”

The bodies at the table stayed silent, none of them even eating their food as they waited for the Commander to continue.

“Effective tomorrow, new measures will be taken,” she paused, everybody was paying attention to her and nobody was eating. This meeting was going to be one of their longer ones. She spent her down time at work thinking through the best approach, though truthfully she was focusing her mind on her war to avoid her other troubles. “Eat.” It was a direct order and the Grounders turned to their attention to their plates, each grabbing a pizza slice in unison.

“Echo, you have come into direct contact with a Mountain Man, so it is your duty to track him down. Identify him, then report back to me. Blood must have blood. If you need assistance,” she paused again and surveyed the table, “Indra can help.” Identifying this Mountain Man was of utmost importance, but the Commander was kinder than she would ever admit and while she didn’t know the exact nature of Echo and Indra’s relationship, she wanted to provide them with a cover if need be.

“Lincoln and Nyko, you will speak with the rest of the warriors. Find out if they have encountered any Mountain Men and have failed to report it to me. Send me a report on each of the Grounders. Include any personal observations you feel may be necessary. I want to extinguish any chance of a turncoat in our midst before the flames bring down the whole operation. This is war, we cannot be merciful.”

“Everybody will be keeping a lookout for local fuckboys. Keep note of any locations they mention visiting. Anya, you will be in the field. I want you around the town, in bars, gathering any information you can and visiting any locations the others discover. Your restaurant would be a good place to start. Find out if any of the fuckboys there know anything about the Mountain Men. How you go about that I will leave up to you.”

The Commander wasn’t quite done yet. “I will not disclose my mission, but trust that I have my own assignment. That said, any questions?”

There were several questions and the Commander patiently answered them. They ranged from “when do you except results from the assignments?” to “what are we going to do with this information?” The answers being “next month” and “eliminate the Mountain Men. This is only Phase 1 of my plan. I do not want to give out too many details at this time as it is still relatively new and subject to change.”

Once the questions were no more, the Commander revealed that there was one last topic to discuss. “Gustus will be back in town, three weeks from now. It will also be his birthday. Ideas?”

Ideas were shot back and forth until it was unanimously decided that they would surprise him on the day he came back with a night in to beer, pizza, and his favorite movies. Gustus would appreciate that more than any other birthday surprise they could offer him.

“This meeting is adjourned,” the Commander announced before helping herself to pizza and beer.

Everybody else had finished by this time, so now they were forced to wait for Lexa to eat. However, that did not stop them from having spirited conversations revolving around the latest boxing match, Lincoln’s love life, and for some reason trains.

It was nice having everybody around, Lexa realized; it kept her mind off of any unsavory topics and reminded her that there are several people who care about her, even if she did not think she deserved it.

They stayed even after Lexa finished eating; hanging out, drinking beers, and just having a good ol’ time while the TV quietly played some sitcoms in the background. Publicly, the group never seemed the type to just goof around, but privately by themselves it was something they reveled in doing.

Currently Lincoln was hanging upside down on Lexa’s pull up bar, while Indra handed him two beers to chug and everybody excitedly watched on. He downed one quickly, but splashed his face with the second beer before getting it into his mouth. As soon as he finished he held both bottles up as a sign of victory and somebody yelled “Whoo!”

“That’s nothing,” challenged Anya, “I could chug 2 beers while doing sit-ups.”

Lincoln disengaged his body from the pull up bar and Echo responded for him, “Prove it.”

She grabbed the bar and pulled herself up, moving her legs over it and letting the crook of her knees rest on the bar. “Nyko! Beer me!” He handed her two beers and Anya began to drink the first one while using her abdominal muscles to pull her body upwards. Echo was keeping count of how many sit-ups she could do in the span of two beers. This was going to be a new competition within the group. Anya managed to do ten sit-ups and as soon as she was done, Indra was prepared to show her up.

“My turn,” Indra had confidently said.

The pressure was on and competitive tension was in the air. It was a close race, but in the end, Indra had tied Anya’s record of ten sit-ups. Nyko volunteered to try next, managing only to do eight, more than Echo’s seven and less than Lincoln’s new record of eleven. It was now Lexa’s turn and everybody cheered the Commander (and Chief) on to “show us what you got.”

There were, quite luckily, only two beers left and Lexa easily got herself into position before Echo handed the beers to her. Her competitive spirit mixed with the competitive energy of the room spurned her on, determined to beat Lincoln. The air was quiet but filled with the pressure and tension of the contest as the last bottle was nearing empty and Lexa was tied with Lincoln at eleven sit-ups. She put all the effort she could muster into the last one and managed to finish the beer as her body moved back down into the neutral position. Everybody, even Lincoln, cheered. “Whoo! Woot! Woot!”

She returned her body to the ground and gave everybody double high-fives. Look at her now!  She was the beer upside-down-sit-up champion! Who would believe that just two nights again she cried her heart out while fucking a girl she liked?

At one in the morning, the group decided it was time for sleep as most of them worked in the morning. Like usual, they had decided to crash at Lexa’s for the night. Lexa and Anya somehow (like usual) fit themselves onto the twin bed, Indra and Echo figured out a way to both sleep on the couch (waking up would most likely be unpleasant as each other’s feet would be near their faces), and Lincoln offered to sleep on the floor, allowing Nyko to have the recliner.

Lexa was the second to rise, Indra having awoke approximately ten minutes earlier. She was going to walk home so she could get ready before heading to work. Lexa almost didn’t see her as she exited the apartment and hurried outside in her boxers and tank top.

“Indra, wait,” Lexa commanded. Indra was halfway down the hallway when she turned around. Lexa strode up to her, continuing, “I suppose I could have texted you, anyway I would like to talk to you later today. Alone.”

“Okay. I am done at 5,” Indra responded. “Is that all?”

“Yes. See you later.”

“See you later.”

 

* * *

 

 Later that day, Indra and Lexa sat in her apartment alone. They were sitting on the couch as the 6 o’clock news played in the background.

“I would like your advice,” Lexa finally said.

“On what?” asked Indra.

“For the first time since Costia, I have had these…feelings for another person. Romantic ideations. However, there was an incident I regret. She has my number, but has made no attempt to contact me yet. Anya keeps insisting I move on, but I’m unsure if it is wise to pursue this. I don’t know if I can forget or put my pride behind me,” she confessed. She stared at the talking head on the TV screen rather than at her friend.

“This is about Octavia’s friend, isn’t it? The blonde? Or did you meet someone else that caught your eye?” asked Indra, eyeing Lexa.

“Yes, Octavia’s friend, Clarke.”

There was silence for a moment as Indra considered what to say. “True strength is doing the things you fear.” Indra knew of Lexa’s mantra ‘Love is weakness,’ even accepted it as truth herself, “That is something I have learned recently,” but now she was beginning to decide it was a false belief.

“Am I a coward?” asked Lexa honestly. Lexa and Indra may not have been best friends, but they did have an understanding of each other and were unafraid to speak the dark truths that plagued their thoughts or to hear the other speak the truth they wanted to ignore.

“Yes. You are afraid of many things. Whatever occurred between you and her can be fixed. Allowing yourself to feel weak can strengthen you over time. Communicate, mend your relationship.”

“What if it makes it worse?” asked Lexa, her eyes were still on the screen.

“That is the fear talking. That is what makes you a coward.”

“Thank you for being honest.”

“I know you despise being told these things,” Indra said, turning her gaze to the television.

It was true there was an annoyance and anger that bubbled under her surface, but Lexa knew Indra did not speak these words out of contempt but out of respect and kinship. Despite what she wanted to believe, Lexa needed to hear the truth about her situation from someone, not her grief and sorrow-filled mind version of the truth. The truth from an outside perspective.

There was a silence as the two of them listened to the news. Lexa finally decided it was all right to ask Indra about her personal relationship with Echo, “I’m curious about you and Echo. I haven’t told a soul and you do not need to tell me, but I am curious how it happened.”

“After the Mountain Man incident, she texted the rest of us for current updates. Somehow we began texting frequently. Then sexting. Then…” Indra paused and Lexa nodded, understanding what occurred next.

“Are you?” asked Lexa.

“Yes. Things have turned into a romantic nature. I am…surprised,” confessed Indra. “She surprises me. I have learned so many things I did not know about me. I have learned so many things I did not know about her. I have learned to love surprises. I hope you can learn to love them again, too.”

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke sat in the living room watching Animal Planet. The show _Too Cute_ was on and it made her feel slightly better to see the cute puppies and kittens exploring life for the first time. She thought about texting Lexa, but was unsure if it was time yet. Unsure why she wanted to, though perhaps it was part curiosity, part actual desire. Curiosity as to why the stoic woman who flirted with her was crying that night. Clarke knew why she was. She had saw someone who she had mistaken for Finn and her feelings of how well he treated her and how incredible he made her feel flitted into her mind. How he made her feel like a princess. Those thoughts were followed by the knowledge that he was a liar and a cheater and that maybe everything he was to her was a big joke he was pulling. That here was a girl, so obviously nothing, and making her feel like everything was something he went home and laughed about for hours.

Lexa’s phone number had been in her possession for three days. It was in her phone, but nothing further had progressed. She sighed as _Too Cute_ went to a commercial. If Jesus can rise from the dead after three days, then Clarke can send someone a text after three days. She opened up a new text message and stared at her screen, wondering what to compose.

**Clarke:** _Hello, Lexa. This is Clarke._

That would be sufficient she decided. Now was the waiting game. How long would it take before Lexa responded?

Apparently the answer was forty-one minutes.

**Lexa:** _Hello, Clarke._

Well what the fuck am I supposed to say now? thought Clarke.

 


	5. What Are You Afraid Of?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It might be 3 weeks before I can update again, because I am going to a concert soonish.  
> Also idk what to give Lexa as a last name (or even if it will be brought up), but whatever someone suggests or is the most popular suggestion I will go with (most likely).
> 
> I have a tumblr: cannibalnextdoor.tumblr.com
> 
> (lowkey i'm thinking about editing this chapter more but idk i guess it depends how y'all feel about it (if i do i'll probably mention it on my tumblr and at the beginning of the next chapter whenever i get that one up)

It was a lazy Thursday morning and Octavia was lying in bed sound asleep. Her hair was loose, flowing on the pillow and over her shoulder, a brown blanket with a white floral pattern covering her body. Slowly, the bedroom door opened and Lincoln stepped inside, soundlessly closing the door behind him. He was carrying a tray with two glasses of orange juice and two plates of eggs, pancakes, and bacon. His steps were quiet as he tiptoed over to the bed, not wanting to wake up the sleeping beauty just yet. He set down the tray on the nightstand and slid under the covers into bed. Wrapping, his arms around her, he kissed the side of her hair-covered neck. She stirred and he kissed her shoulder. Then her cheek. She turned herself around in his arms to look at him.

“Well, good morning to you, too,” Octavia smiled. She gave Lincoln a peck on the lips.

“I made breakfast,” he said.

“I can smell it,” she said, “Smells delicious.”

“Not as good as you,” whispered Lincoln, his voice slightly lower than normal.

Octavia gave him another peck on the lips, “Hmm, well maybe you can have dessert after breakfast.”

“I look forward to it.”

It took them awhile before they finally got to the breakfast Lincoln had made them. It was starting to get cold, but it didn’t bother them at all. It was still delicious.

Octavia was cutting up her pancakes when she asked, “Do you know what the hell is going on with Clarke and Lexa?”

“Anya said something about Lexa’s fixation with the Mountain Men was so she could have a reason to ignore Clarke.” Lincoln took a sip of his orange juice.

“Raven told me Lexa gave Clarke her number. Through Anya.” Lincoln was chewing a mouthful of pancake and after a few seconds of silence she added, “Mountain Men?”

Lincoln took a few more seconds of chewing before he swallowed and answered, “They’re a group of fuckboys.”

“Oh.”

“You said Clarke has Lexa’s number?  I didn’t know that.”

“Yeah. Has Lexa mentioned Clarke at all? Clarke hasn’t said a word to me about her, but Raven said she was going to text her and I don’t know what the hell is going on, because one night they were in a bathroom crying and then the next thing I know Clarke has Lexa’s number and I don’t even know what happened.” Octavia was rambling on while Lincoln chewed his food.

He swallowed, “I don’t know. Maybe give them time to figure it out?”

“Yeah, I guess. I’m just afraid Lexa’s going to hurt Clarke,” Octavia confessed. She was stabbing several pieces of pancakes to get the most on her fork before eating them.

“I’m more concerned that Clarke will hurt Lexa,” said Lincoln, taking a bite of bacon.

“That is actually comforting.”

They continued talking while eating their breakfast, the conversation turning to several different topics like plans for the rest of the day/week, TV shows, and childhood memories. When they were both done with their plates, Lincoln leaned over and grabbed an overturned piece of paper off the nightstand.

“I hope you don’t mind but I drew this while you were sleeping,” he said, handing Octavia the drawing.

It was a pencil drawing of Octavia sleeping, the blinds open and the light captured as it shone down on her. It was highly detailed, leaving Octavia to wonder just how early he had woken up in order to draw a picture _and_ cook breakfast. It was beautiful and she was flattered.

“This is…” she tried to think of the right word, “incredible. I love it.” It was the truth. She loved the drawing and the way he made her sleeping body look lovely. Honestly, she didn’t think she looked that good while she slept, but he had made her look reminiscent of some sculpture she had seen in the humanities course she had to take some years ago.

At first Lincoln tried to hide the shy smile he had, but then he decided that there was no reason for him to hide it. He let the smile spread on his face and said, “Thank you. You had looked so beautiful and I had to try replicating it on paper.”

Octavia wanted to say something along the lines of ‘well it looks like you succeeded,’ but didn’t want to assume how Lincoln felt about his drawing. She had learned from Clarke one-too-many times that even if it looks outstanding, it might not be to the artist. Instead she reiterated, “I really love it.”

“Thank you,” he said, “but it’s not as beautiful as the real thing.”

Octavia leaned over and gave him a kiss. “You always say the nicest things.”

“I can say not-so-nice things too,” he said, kissing her. Octavia understood what he meant by that. He meant he could say dirty things, not mean things. Something he wasn’t very good at. Almost, no, definitely humorously bad at.

“I beg to differ.”

They were still kissing when Lincoln ruined the moment in an attempt at dirty-talk, “I want Octopussy for dessert.”

Octavia busted out laughing, “What!?” It only took a moment before Lincoln joined in, realizing how completely terrible that line was.

“Maybe you’re right. Dirty-talk is not my strong suit.”

Octavia was still laughing, choking out the words, “It totally isn’t.”

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa was on her break, trying to think of a way to respond to Clarke’s text message. They had only begun texting as of last night and it was mostly awkward with neither of them knowing what to say. She stared at the text.

**Clarke:** _Yeah_

What was Lexa supposed to say now? They had already went through the ‘Anya came to give me your number,’ ‘you waited three days to text me,’ and ‘you work at sportapolis? Where do you work? The ark’ short-lived conversations. What else was there to text her that didn’t seem to be crossing some sort of imaginary line? Oh fuck it. She might as well ask the pretty blonde out for coffee instead of trying torturously to text her. At least over coffee she could figure out if it was simply sexual tension between them or if she really was indeed feeling _that_ for her.

**Lexa:** _Do you want to get coffee sometime?_

**Clarke:** _Yeah where at?_

**Lexa:** _Tondc?_

**Clarke:** _Sounds good_

**Clarke:** _When?_

**Lexa:** _Tomorrow morning?_

**Clarke:** _Time?_

**Lexa:** _8_

**Clarke:** _Oh wow that’s early_

**Clarke:** _Ok_

**Lexa:** _We can wait until after 5, if that’s more to your liking._

**Clarke:** _No 8s fine. i’ve always wanted to see the sunrise_

Lexa smiled at her phone. A joke. The smile dropped. Wait, that was a joke, right? No, of course it was, the sun rises much earlier than that.

**Lexa:** _You will have to wake up earlier for that._

**Clarke:** _And miss out on sleep? no thank u_

**Lexa:** _Sleep is a wonderful luxury._

**Lexa:** _I have to go back to work now. Goodbye._

**Clarke:** _Bi_

Lexa looked at the last text, a slight smile on her face. _Two birds with one stone._ That was when she thought of something potentially funny and a play on the word ‘kay.’Maybe she would try it out another time. Maybe even scrap it all together. Sometimes things were only funny in the briefest of moments.

When Lexa walked out from the employee break room and into the store area, she noticed one of the store’s frequent visitors was there. His name was Cage and Lexa had been watching him for months. Not in a ‘I want to date or fuck you’ kind of way either. Lexa was most definitely gay. Possibly an alpha gay. Not that there was a gay hierarchy or anything just that Lexa was _very_ gay. And if there _was_ a gay hierarchy she would like to think she was at the top.

She had been keeping a close eye on Cage, because she was almost certain that he was not just _a_ fuckboy but that he was one of _the_ fuckboys, and Lexa had decided she was going to infiltrate the Mountain Men. Somehow.

“Hello, Cage. Anything in particular you are looking for this time?” Lexa asked, walking up to him.

“Not this time. I’m just looking at fishing equipment today,” he replied, looking at lures.

“Okay, well if you need any assistance, just ask.” Lexa had turned to leave, but then remembered that she had an important mission. Befriend Cage. No matter how horrible he is, befriend Cage. She spun back around. “You know, you come here almost every week but I know virtually nothing about you.” That was a lie, Lexa had picked up bits and pieces of intel over months.

“If you’re asking me out on a date, just say so,” he responded, eyes still scanning the lures.

“No, I’m gay,” said Lexa maybe too quickly. She sure as hell did not want to date Cage, even if it gave her an extra year of life. Well, maybe one date would be worth an extra year of life, after all the return would be impeccable. No. Just no. Dating Cage, even once would be gross enough. Besides would it even count as a date if she spent the time finding a woman to take home?

“I figured as much,” he said, moving to look at the lures on the other side of the aisle. “and the sudden interest?”

“It’s not sudden.” That was not a lie. Though, her interest wasn’t in actual friendship.

“I’m not particularly interested in making new friends right now,” he said, “I’m going over to the archery section.”

He began walking away and Lexa did the most disgusting, the most revolting thing she has ever done in the history of her life. She was glad nobody else was around when she said it, because the memory alone was embarrassing enough. She said, “Haha and then what?” She could have puked on the spot.

Cage froze in his spot and then turned around. He eyed Lexa suspiciously for a moment before smirking and said, “If you want to get to know me. I’ll be at Mount Weather tomorrow night.”

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke arrived at the apartment with inspiration on her mind. She was going to relax in the living room, put on some reality TV, and do some painting. Well, until she was in the kitchen getting water and heard noises that she would rather not hear coming from Raven’s room. Quickly, she fled to her room and put on music to drown out the unwanted noise.

She grabbed her laptop and a piece of cardboard with paint on its edges and set them down on the floor. Her phone dinged and she looked at it. Monty had texted her back finally.

**Monty Python:** _Are you really going on a date with her?_

**Clarke:** _Yeah_

Clarke continued gathering her painting supplies and moving them to the floor.

**Monty Python:** _We should celebrate_

**Monty Python:** _Did you Griffin up and ask her or did she ask you?_

**Clarke:** _She asked me_

She opened her laptop and went to Netflix, browsing for a show to watch.

**Monty Python:** _Hah! So I don’t have to ask Miller out. Nice_

**Clarke:** _Dammit. monty ask miller out! i’m begging u and u know i don’t beg_

**Monty Python:** _Don’t beg! I can’t resist a begging Griffin!_

She decided on _Dance Moms_ when she received a text from Bellamy.

**Amy Bell:** _What’s this about a hot date_

She texted Monty back.

**Clarke:** _Did u tell bellamy about my date?_

**Monty Python:** _It wasn’t me! I only told Jasper! Promise_

Her and Jasper were going to have words later.

Until then she texted Monty back.

**Clarke:** _Ur off the hook mont. IF u ask miller out :P_

Then she texted Bellamy.

**Clarke:** _It’s just coffee_

**Amy Bell:** _So it is hot ;)_

**Clarke:** _Whatever_

She looked to see what Monty had texted her back.

**Monty Python:** _But Clarke…_

**Clarke:** _Monty_

She put her phone down and set up her surrounding area for a prime painting and _Dance Moms_ zone. Once it was set up she looked at her phone, Bellamy had texted her back.

**Amy Bell:** _We should go for drinks after_

**Clarke:** _It’s at 8. in the morning_

**Amy Bell:** _Daaammmnn_

**Amy Bell:** _Later then. muuuccchh later_

**Clarke:** _Maybe_

**Amy Bell:** _Cmon if it goes good we’ll celebrate if it goes bad u can drown ur sorrows_

**Clarke:** _U just want a reason to get drunk_

**Amy Bell:** _Maybe_

**Clarke:** _Fine_

**Amy Bell:** _Yeeesss!!_

Clarke put her phone down after seeing Monty had yet to text her back and got ready to paint when Raven came busting into her room. Clarke had turned around quick enough to catch sight of Anya leaving Raven’s room, heading in the direction of the exit.

“I hear we’re getting drunk tomorrow!”

“How do you already know?” That was a stupid question to ask. Of course Bellamy told her.

“Mind if we cut the going out part and just get drunk here?” It wasn’t a question, but more simply her sharing the updated event plans. “Oh, and I know you have a ‘No fire’ rule for whatever reason, but Jas and Mont agree that everybody will love this totally safe way to light ourselves on fire!”

She exited the room and shut the door, leaving Clarke staring at her for a moment before she had to get up and follow Raven out of her room. “No fire. That’s the rule. No fire.”

Raven peeked out from the bathroom. “It’s safe.”

“I don’t care. No fire.” She glared at Raven and reiterated, “No fire.”

“Fine. You’re no fun. This is why we didn’t invite you when we played fireball.” Whatever fireball was Clarke didn’t really want to know and she was pretty sure it wasn’t the whiskey. Though, she was offended they didn’t invite her. However, Raven just accused her of being Clarke ‘No Fun’ Griffin again and she had to defend her honor.

“I can have fun. I am fun.” Smooth.

 

* * *

 

Lexa was sitting in Tondc waiting for Clarke to arrive. She checked for phone more often than necessary to see if Clarke had canceled the date. It wasn’t even 8 yet. She wasn’t ready to face her yet. This was a bad idea. She should leave.

Pushing the chair back, she rose out of the seat and moved the chair back under the table. She reached the door, only for it to be opened and for her to be face-to-face with the woman she was about to stand up. Clarke.

“Hello, Clarke.” They were standing in the doorway, eyes locked on each other.

“Hey, Lexa,” Clarke began, adding after a second, “Were you about to stand me up?”

“No,” she lied. “Maybe. I don’t know.”

They were still standing in the doorway and somebody from within Tondc yelled, “In or out!”

“So what is it Lexa? In or out?” asked Clarke, smirking.

Lexa didn’t verbally answer Clarke, but instead motioned her head towards a table and turned around, walking to it. The blonde followed behind her and the door closed. “What would you like? My treat.”

“It better be your treat since you were about to stand me up on a date _you_ asked me to go on,” retorted Clarke. She then added, “It’s fine, though. You don’t have to pay for me this time.”

A slight smile played at Lexa’s lips, “I insist. It’s the least I could do.”

“Well if you insist then I’ll take a medium coffee, two creams and one sugar, and a Boston cream,” Clarke said without hesitation and a smile on her face.

“Okay,” Lexa nodded and walked over to the counter to order. There were only a few other people in Tondc and none currently in line, so Lexa was able to purchase the coffees and donuts immediately. As she waited for her order, she realized she missed her opportunity to make the joke she thought about yesterday. Perhaps it was best she didn’t say ‘Ogay,’ though.

When Lexa arrived back at the table with the donuts and coffees, Clarke nonchalantly said, “Last time I was here I was almost stood up.”

Lexa set the food and drinks down on the table, saying, “Last time I was here I panicked and almost stood up a pretty blonde,” and the pretty blonde smiled. She didn’t mean to reveal that she panicked, but for some reason it slipped out and all Lexa could do was pretend it was fine, that she was fine.

“I didn’t know I intimidated cute brunettes,” replied Clarke as Lexa sat down across from her.

“Nobody intimidates me,” boasted Lexa. Okay, so Clarke made her heart feel like maybe it skipped a beat and sent nervous flutters through her stomach, but that wasn’t intimidation that was… _fuck_ that was jitters because of romantic feelings or whatever.

“It’s okay, your secret is safe with me,” said Clarke, winking. She took a sip of her coffee, nearly burning her tongue in the process, “Still hot.”

“Of course I am,” Lexa attempted to joke, and Clarke looked at her unimpressed. She took a bite of her donut.

“So, is there a reason you wanted to have coffee with me at 8 in the morning?” asked Clarke as way of conversation.

Lexa began by saying, “I work at 9 so-” before getting cut off by Clarke.

“You work at 9?”

“Yes.”

“So there’s a time limit on this date?”

“I suppose.”

“What are you afraid of?”

“Huh?”

Clarke looked Lexa in the eyes, not that they weren’t already staring in each other’s eyes. “You put a time limit on this date. It’s contained. Nothing drastic can happen, we can’t simply see where the date takes us. You made sure you were in control of its events. On top of that, you almost left me here. So, what are you afraid of?”

Lexa took another bite of her donut to have a valid excuse not to answer the question right away. What was she afraid of? She was afraid of a lot of matters that dealt with the heart. Maybe the only things she was afraid of had to do with the heart. Not that she would admit to being afraid of anything, that is. She swallowed down the thoroughly chewed piece of donut and took a sip of her black coffee before answering, “Heavy material for a first date.”

“You’re avoiding the question.” Clarke had almost finished her donut and was still staring at Lexa. There was a hint of a challenge there, as if she was challenging Lexa to be vulnerable. Lexa wouldn’t take the bait.

“Perhaps on another date we can discuss the matters haunting our minds.”

“You’re asking if I would like to go on a second date with you, even though we’re only about ten minutes into our first date?”

“Yes.”

“I have to say, confidence is sexy.” At that Lexa blushed, tipping her head down and bringing her coffee to her lips to take a sip and hide any traitorous emotions. “Next time can I pick the place?”

“Of course, we can go anywhere you want,” said the brunette.

“And do anything I want?” asked Clarke, winking.

Lexa gulped, “Of course.”

“And take as _long_ as I want,” Clarke husked out.

Lexa was suddenly feeling very warm as she let out, “Of course.”

The pretty blonde smiled, saying, “Good, because I am going to plan a very extensive date.”

“That is a huge task for a mere second date,” commented Lexa.

“Then I hope the payoff is big too,” said Clarke with a smirk and a wink. _Oh god,_ Lexa thought. This woman had to know exactly what she was doing to her. Then again Lexa didn’t particularly mind if this pretty blonde made her feel this way. There was something about her. Many things about her maybe.

The rest of the date went smoothly, moving away from the topics of second dates and fears and into the topics of hobbies, high school/college, and things they wished they had more time for. They ended up with fingers touching, though not enough for either of them. Lexa contemplated on kissing Clarke goodbye only to end up kissing her hand and saying “Goodbye, Clarke.” She left Tondc with a smile on her face.

 

* * *

 

 

The Commander walked into Mount Weather and looked around for any sign of Cage. The memory of her last visit here entered her thoughts and she tried to push it away. A man at the bar noticed her and waved her over. It was Cage. Taking a deep breath, the Commander walked over, it was game time.

“I was wondering if you were going to show up,” he said, sliding her a drink. She looked at it and he told her, “Screwdriver.”

She eyed the concoction suspiciously. She knew better than to accept drinks from men she didn’t really know. “Actually,” she said loud enough for the bartender who was nearby to hear, “I would prefer a Jack and Coke.”

“Jack and Coke coming right up,” said the bartender, the Commander making eye contact with him and nodding to indicate the order was indeed desired.

“If you insist,” said Cage, he grabbed the screwdriver and took a sip. “Be my wingman tonight. Or wingwoman if you prefer.” Maybe Cage wasn’t so bad a guy after all.

The Commander sat down in the barstool next to Cage and nodded.

They were both on their third drink when Cage started talking about the ‘love of his life,’ aka a Doctor Lorelei Tsing. “I loved her but she…she didn’t love me. Said she only saw me as a friend. God I loved her it hurt. It still hurts. But she, she friendzoned me.” Never mind Cage was so bad a guy after all.

_That’s your tragic fuckboy backstory?_

The Commander didn’t realize she spoke that out loud until Cage nearly yelled, “You don’t know the first thing about fuckboy culture!”

“You’re right I don’t!” Lexa nearly yelled back, “Enlighten me!” She looked over to the bartender and yelled “Another!” with her glass raised.

“What do you want to know?” he asked, his speech a bit slurred.

“Anything.”

“You have a girl or something?” he asked.

“Not exactly.”

“But there _is_ a girl?”

“Yes.” The new drinks arrived and Lexa took a swig.

“Tell you what. This works most of the time. You show up at her house, drunk. Don’t matter if anything happens, but man they love the whole ‘I was drunk and thought of you’ thing. You’ll be fucking in no time.”

“That works? I’ve already fucked her.” She took another swig of her drink and he followed suit.

“Fuck. You don’t need my help at all. Now help me get one of these chicks,” he motioned over to a few women at a table nearby.

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa didn’t know what time it was. All she knew was that she was calling **Pretty Blonde** and heading in the direction of Tondc. She lived somewhere around there, right? After a few rings, **Pretty Blonde** picked up.

“Hello,” the voice on the other end slurred. There was a lot of noise in the background that Lexa could not make out.

“Hello. Clarke. Please. Where do you live?”

“Lexa?” there was a pause before Clarke continued, giving her the address and Lexa voiced her confusion prompting Clarke to ask “Where are you?”

“I’m nearing Tondc, Clarke,” she was slurring her words but Clarke still managed to understand her.

After getting lost once due to poor directions, Lexa was able to make it to Clarke’s apartment. She may have knocked on the wrong door once or twice, too. Finally, though, she was at the correct apartment and on a couch next to Clarke. Clarke who looked so pretty.

There were other people in the apartment, but she forgot about them, well technically she didn’t even pay attention to them as she stumbled in, instead she headed directly to the one person she had her eyes set on. Clarke. _God was she pretty_. Lexa was drunk and she was going to kiss the pretty blonde. Actually, she was kissing the pretty blonde. And the pretty blonde was kissing her back. It was a miracle, heaven on Earth. The kiss was sloppy and somehow sweet. She was pushing the blonde into the corner of the back cushion and the armrest as the kiss was deepening. “Mmm,” one or both of them moaned as Lexa’s right hand found its way under Clarke’s shirt and under her bra. She was palming her breast and then squeezing it, feeling Clarke’s nipple pressing into her palm. _God this was so good._ As of right now she was so glad she spent part of her Friday night getting drunk with Cage. Especially when she was making out with Clarke who had her hands on Lexa’s hips. There was tongue and Clarke may have been trying to remove her shirt when Lexa felt herself being removed off Clarke.

“Come on now Chief, let’s get you home.” It was The Bitch. She was dragging a reluctant Lexa away from Clarke and towards the door while Clarke argued with someone.

“She touched my heart!” she heard Clarke say.

“That’s your left boob.”

“Same thing.”

They were out the door and Anya was still dragging Lexa. They were at the top of the stairs when Lexa finally started to cooperate. Down the stairs they went and sometime after exiting the building, Lexa began talking about, of all things, Clarke’s left breast.

“Have you ever felt a perfect breast, Anya? Not that all breasts aren’t perfect, because they are. But the kind of breast that fits your hand perfectly. Like it was meant to be held by your hand and your hand only. Have you ever experienced that Anya? I have. I’ll let you know that it was Clarke’s breast. Her right breast. Wait. No. It was her left breast. Her left breast, Anya. What do you think it means? That her breast and my hand fit perfectly?” Anya was doing her best to ignore Lexa and let her ramble on. Some of it sounded incoherent to her, but she definitely knew that the subject was Clarke’s boob. Her left one to be exact.

“Should I call her parents up and congratulate them on their daughter’s perfect breast? Wait! What if she’s adopted, Anya? Should I still congratulate them? Would that be too awkward? Maybe I shouldn’t do that. I should send Clarke a gift. A ‘thank you for letting me touch your breast’ present. It was so nice, Anya. If you ever get the chance to touch it…please don’t tell me I would be a bit jealous.”

Lexa started going on about things she would like to do that involve that particular breast and Anya quickened the pace. By time they got back to Lexa’s apartment she moved on to another topic involving the wonderful breast of Clarke. Anya was moving Lexa to the bedroom as she rambled on.

“I’m not going to wash this hand again. It has touched perfection. Perfection, Anya. It would be an insult to wash it. I don’t want to insult Clarke and her perfect breast.” Anya got Lexa into the bed, left the room to retrieve something, and missed all about how Lexa could never touch another breast without thinking about the perfection of Clarke’s.

When Anya arrived with a bucket Lexa was saying something about how maybe there is a way to tell if you’re compatible with someone based solely on the compatibility of their breast and your hand. Anya placed the bucket on the bed, saying “Don’t puke all over everything,” and left the room, shutting the door behind her as Lexa continued going on about this breast-hand compatibility theory. Anya was going to sleep on the couch. She couldn’t leave Lexa alone to possibly stagger back to Clarke and she also couldn’t deal with hearing her babble on. At least this was a good sign that Lexa was moving on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sorry for the Octopussy line. I laughed so hard when I thought about it, and practically shoved my whole hand in my mouth as an attempt to stop myself from laughing (it didn’t work). Please forgive me.


	6. No Nicknames

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told myself I wasn't allowed to watch the new season of oitnb until I updated and so, well, let's just say this chapter only had one scene yesterday *shrugs* what can I say? Also half the time I don't know what I'm doing when I'm writing so I hope it all came out well
> 
> Please let me know what you think!
> 
> cannibalnextdoor.tumblr.com

It had been a couple days since their drunken encounter and Clarke was still teasing Lexa about it. She was lazing around at home, enjoying the solitude that currently lurked in the apartment.

**Pretty Blonde:** _Do u always get drunk and make out with the girl u went on a date with or just me?_

**Lexa:** _Occasionally we do not even go on a date or get drunk, we simply make out._

That was not exactly the response Clarke was expecting, but still she felt her lip curve upwards. There was something about Lexa that made her heart flutter the tiniest bit. Okay, maybe it wasn’t exactly the tiniest bit, but Clarke liked to downplay the emotions she felt, especially after _him_.

**Pretty Blonde:** _Do u feel them up sober too?_

**Lexa:** _I can’t give out all my trade secrets._

**Pretty Blonde:** _Raven said u wouldn’t stop going on about my boob_

That was true. Raven had told Clarke what Anya had told her: that drunk Lexa was obsessed with Clarke’s boob.

**Lexa:** _In my defense, you have very nice breasts._

**Pretty Blonde:** _U say the sweetest things_

**Lexa:** _Also I did not know Anya made a new friend._

**Pretty Blonde:** _Less made a new friend and more made a new fuck buddy_

**Lexa:** _That sounds like the Anya I know._

Clarke was laying on the couch, with some show playing in the background. She truly had no idea what it was, only that it was a cooking show and that there was no Gordon Ramsay on it. She thought about what to say next. Was it too early to talk about a second date? Maybe not, but she was planning on Saturday as the official day of the second date and today was only Sunday.

**Pretty Blonde:** _R u free saturday?_

**Lexa:** _I usually charge $50, but for pretty blondes I’m free._

A stupid grin took over Clarke’s face as she responded.

**Pretty Blonde:** _Nevermind. i think i’ll stay home saturday instead of asking you to go out then_

It took Lexa awhile to text back. A worrisome amount of time. Clarke couldn’t help but think that in the midst of her teasing she fucked it up. She reminded herself several times that people have lives outside of their phones, but still she had nothing going on and that made any amount of time pass by even slower. Finally, though after approximately two hours  –and a cooking show _with_ Gordon Ramsay coming on– Lexa texted back.

**Cute Brunette:** _What if I ask you out instead?_

**Pretty Blonde:** _I suppose i could be persuaded to agree_

**Cute Brunette:** _We can make out without alcohol influencing our thoughts._

**Pretty Blonde:** _I’m sold_

**Cute Brunette:** _Perhaps if you are up to it we can do more than simply make out_

**Pretty Blonde:** _It’ll depend on how much you woo me ;)_

**Cute Brunette:** _I can be quite the charmer._

**Pretty Blonde:** _But is it enough to charm my pants off?_

* * *

 

 

The week was going by too slowly for Lexa. It was only Wednesday and she needed it to be Saturday. She didn’t realize it, but when Clarke occupied her thoughts, she didn’t live in a constant state of darkness. Her friends and co-workers only slightly noticed the improvement in her mood, and only Anya noticed it enough to tease her about it.

Organizing the baseball gloves and batting gloves, Lexa didn’t realize she was faintly moving her body to the music in her head, not even when she heard the doorbell announcing that someone entered or exited the store. She looked over to the entrance to deduce whether or not she should ask the potential person if they would like assistance. Upon recognizing Cage, she returned to her task at hand. At some point before he left she would have to talk to him, after all she was intending on infiltrating the Mountain Men still, but that could wait.

Apparently he thought it couldn’t, because after a moment of Lexa’s attention being returned to the baseball equipment, he was next to her clearing his throat. She turned around and they exchanged pleasantries. Cage, then, dove into the reason he wanted to speak to her, “did you try the showing up at her house drunk?”

“Yes, thank you for suggesting that.”

“So it worked?”

“If you count second base as a success,” Lexa replied. After speaking, the reality of her using the baseball system of distinguishing the type of romantic/sexual activity that took place while standing in the baseball section of the store hit her. Why was she such a dork?

“Do you?” Cage didn’t answer the question, probably because it didn’t matter if he considered it a success or not, only if Lexa did.

“I consider every base a success.”

“As do I. You know Lexa, if you’re interested, me and the guys are going for drinks on Saturday,” Cage started to say before Lexa interrupted him.

“I can’t. I have a date Saturday.”

“Ah, yes, a date. I wish you the best.” Cage stood by for a short moment has Lexa resumed her organization task. “Well you have my number. I think you would fit in well with the group.”

“Yes, perhaps another time,” she agreed. Getting in with the potential Mountain Men was actually going much smoother than Lexa initially planned. This was good. She may have an in. Dismantling them was proving to be easier done than said. Soon the fuckboy problem in this city would be no more.

 

* * *

 

 

“Oh, so now you want to know all about my fire secrets! Now that it involves a cute girl!” Raven yelled.

“Just tell me how to do those things you were talking about! I promised her an epic date and nothing else is working out,” begged Clarke.

They were both standing in the living room of their apartment arguing, while their home-for-once roommate, Octavia, attempted to watch _Burn Notice_.

“Would you two please shut up? I can’t hear the two people I actually _want_ to hear bicker, bicker,” snapped Octaivia.

“Not until she teaches me how to do cool things with fire.”

“I’d totally teach you any other time Griffin, but not when I’m being used.”

“C’mon, Raven, I’ll make it up to you.”

“Can you guys at least argue somewhere else?” asked Octavia less harsh this time.

Clarke and Raven ignored her.

“Like what?”

“Anything you want.”

“Anything?”

“Please don’t make me regret this,” Clarke requested.

“If you’re willing to do anything for me then of course you’re going to regret it,” Raven asserted.

Octavia, having finally found where she put the remote, started to turn the volume up slowly but steadily.

Clarke sighed, trying to decide if she should accept her fate or fight it. She decided to fight it, “I will do all of your cleaning for a month and your laundry.”

“And?” Raven said, but then had to repeat herself much louder because it was drowned out by Fiona Glenanne making something go boom.

Clarke started to back up to her bedroom and Raven followed. Octavia glad she won the rights to the living room noise. “I’ll buy your drinks.”

“And?”

Clarke sighed. She knew what Raven wanted. “I’ll let you do a fire party trick. But only one time,” Clarke held up her index finger to indicate precisely how many times Raven could do a party trick with fire. One.

She beamed. “I’ll take it! Okay, now listen very carefully,” she began, “you need a Wilson tennis ball. It has to be Wilson or else…”

 

* * *

 

 

Finally it was Saturday morning and Lexa was dressed and ready to go. She was wearing a gray dress shirt and a darker gray tie accented with bloodlike red. Picking up her phone, she called **The Bitch**. After several rings, **The Bitch** picked up.

“Hello?” asked a sleepy voice from the other end.

“I am going to send you some pictures. I would like to know what you think.”

“Of what?” asked Anya, it was clear that Lexa’s call had woken her up.

“My attire. My second date with Clarke is soon. I want to know how I look.”

“I’m sure you look fine.”

“Anya.”

“Okay, send the damn pictures, but don’t call again until after 12.”

“Thank you,” said Lexa hanging up.

She took several different selfies, sending them all to Anya through Snapchat. A minute or less after the last one was sent, she received a response in the form of a tired Anya with bedhead giving her a thumb’s up and another picture of her flipping Lexa off.

Although, Lexa still did not feel completely satisfied with her date attire, she decided that if it was terrible, even half-asleep Anya would have told her. Regardless, she looked in the mirror and did some touch ups before leaving for Tondc.

Once at Tondc, Lexa waited patiently, checking the time on her phone every 15 seconds, for Clarke to arrive. Clarke arrived one minute early to the agreed upon 10 o’clock date time. Quickly, Lexa stood up and greeted the blonde. She was wearing black pants and a white V-neck top paired with a black jacket. Due to the heels she was wearing, the height difference between them was moved in the slightest bit to Clarke’s favor as the taller of the two.

“Hello, Clarke,” she held out her hand and Clarke rolled her eyes, grabbing the hand and bringing Lexa into a bro hug. It was a compromise of sorts.

“You’re a dork,” Clarke whispered into her ear, letting her go.

“Whatever,” insisted Lexa as she moved to the counter, “I would have ordered us coffee already but I did not want to be presumptuous.”

“Good, because I’m paying this time.”

“Clarke,” stated Lexa. The way she spoke her name seemed to imply that she had no intention of letting Clarke pay.

“I’m paying or I’m going to walk out the door.” Lexa opened her mouth to speak again, but Clarke continued, successfully shutting her up, “and don’t say that you have to pay for pretty blondes because I have to pay for cute brunettes.”

There was a short-lived silence before Lexa agreed, “Fine.”

When the two women were settled at a table with coffee and donuts, Lexa asked the question that had been running through her mind ever since Clarke asked her out. “What are we doing on this, I believe you called it epic, date?”

“Well, first we’re having coffee and donuts at Tondc to make it feel more like a continuation of the first date. Then we’re going skydiving,” the last bit was a joke and Lexa immediately jumped on it.

“Skydiving?” Lexa was intrigued. Skydiving was something that scared the hell out of her, but she wanted to do it nonetheless. 

“We’re not going skydiving. Turns out they want more than a week’s notice when you book a reservation. We are, however, are going to try something new, something I’ve never tried before that took Raven a lot of convincing before she spilled her secrets and I’m hoping we both don’t die or end up in jail.”

“And that is?” asked Lexa when Clarke didn’t tell her what this ‘new,’ possibly illegal thing they were going to try was.

Clarke smiled at her, almost wickedly, and it made Lexa’s heart flop as if it were a fish, “It’s a secret.”

“It better be good then, because you are risking a lot on this secret.”

“Risking what exactly? I already have the girl on a date, which by the way, would you like to go for drinks sometime?” Clarke took a bite of her Boston cream as a smiled spread on her face over the way Lexa’s face eased into a smile of its own.

“Are you asking me out on another date while this one has only recently begun?” Lexa knew exactly what she was doing. She knew that this was reminiscent of their previous date where she asked Clarke out again after less than ten minutes. She knew the trap she was getting herself into, but she didn’t care.

“Yes, if I recall, it’s a technique I learned from you. A date cannot go bad if there’s already a follow-up.”

“I would disagree.”

“Really?”

“Yes,” Lexa said. She took a sip of her coffee before elaborating, “Having a next date set up is a safety net. No matter how bad the date goes, there is still the next one.”

Clarke smirked (she was doing a lot of that lately, wasn’t she?), “So you were afraid our first date would go bad and that would be it?”

“I never said that.”

“You didn’t have to.”

 

* * *

 

 

It was approximately 12:30 and they were in an abandoned parking lot somewhere on the outskirts of town. Clarke had several Wilson tennis balls –all of which Lexa had thrown while saying “Go fetch,” causing Clarke to chase them down and retrieve if she wanted to go through with the plan– that she was trying to keep out of the other woman’s grasp. Unfortunately, and fortunately, Lexa was currently hovering over Clarke’s body as they sat in the back of the van Clarke borrowed from her mother (she took significantly less convincing than Raven). Lexa upon truly realizing the situation she was in, stopped trying to reach for the ball held high in Clarke’s hand and instead looked down at Clarke’s face. Her eyes flicked from Clarke’s blue ones to her lips. Heat was rising up in Lexa’s body and the urge to kiss Clarke was overpowering. Eyes closed as mouths neared each other and a moment later Lexa was kissing Clarke and Clarke was kissing her back. Things started to get hot and heavy as the tennis balls were forgotten about and Clarke’s jacket was removed. Fingertips moved across bare skin and hands found their way under shirts. Lexa broke the kiss as Clarke began to loosen her tie. Her eyes were dark and she took a moment for her breath to steady.

“Clarke, we’re in public.”

Clarke scoffed and did a quick look around of the surrounding area. It looked deserted. “Hardly. Besides _you_ started removing my clothes first.”

“Only your jacket,” said Lexa defensively.

“You were feeling me up.”

“Okay, fine, but that doesn’t change the fact that we’re in public.”

“It changes the fact that you’re the one who needs to be told that, not me.”

Lexa shook her head and got off Clarke’s lap. “What is it we’re supposed to be doing again?”

“We’re going to play tennis with a flaming ball.”

“And it’s safe?”

“Yeah, Raven said you can even hold the ball and not get burned.”

“And you trust her?” asked Lexa.

“She knows a lot about fire and how not to get burned.”

 Once things were set up –a bucket filled with a bit of water set out and unlidded with the ingredients for a flaming tennis ball placed next to it– Clarke looked at her phone. She had Raven text her the instructions and before she committed to this potentially dangerous act, she wanted to check that she was going to do everything right. It wasn’t that there were many steps to keep track of, but the idea of a flaming tennis ball made Clarke feel as if she should be extra cautious.

She was about to pocket her phone when she received a call from **Xena**. After briefly considering ignoring Octavia’s call, she answered on the second ring.

“O?”

“Raven’s in the hospital,” said Octavia wasting no time. Panic flooded her system and she didn’t see the way Lexa stopped playing with the lighter and turned her attention onto her.

“What happened, O? Is it bad?” Clarke’s heart started racing and not in the way it did because of Lexa. She motioned to Lexa quickly to move the stuff back in the van, not really caring if she understood the motions at all. Lexa did and put the lid back on the bucket and started to carry it back to the van on the other side of the lot.

“I don’t know. It’s bad though,” then as an afterthought Octavia added, “Finn’s here.”

“Why didn’t you call me sooner?” asked Clarke feeling guilty that she continually insisted that nobody call her even if the apartment caught on fire (to which Raven joked that Clarke would be the reason it caught on fire anyway).

“I just got here. I didn’t want to worry you.”

“Yeah, well I’m thoroughly worried right now. I’ll be there soon and when I get there I want to know what happened, how bad it is, and everything else.” She ended the call and looked over to where Lexa was by the van with the bucket of water. Grabbing the rest of the gear, she ran over to the van just as Lexa finished putting the bucket inside.

“I’m sorry Lexa, but I’m going to have to cancel the rest of the date. Something’s come up,” started Clarke, out-of-breath. She tossed the items into the back of the van.

“It’s fine, Clarke. Things happen,” Lexa stated, closing the door.

She didn’t ask for an explanation, but Clarke gave her one. “Raven’s in the hospital. I don’t know what happened, but I think it’s bad.”

“It’s fine, Clarke,” insisted Lexa as she moved to the passenger seat –Clarke was moving to the driver’s side. ‘We already have a third date planned,’ Lexa thought about adding, but maybe now was not the time for humor.

 

* * *

 

 

It was late at night when Lexa received a knock at her door. She didn’t think to put any pants or shorts on and opened the door in her boxers. Clarke was on the other side. Clarke, who looked tired and emotionally exhausted.

“Hello,” said Lexa, surprised to see Clarke standing there, “would you like to come in?” Of course she would, what else do you think she’s doing here late at night? Lexa moved to the side and let Clarke enter, shutting the door behind her. “I wasn’t expecting you. Let me put on some pants.”

“No, you’re fine,” said Clarke almost immediately. She headed towards the couch and Lexa wondered how she got her address but then put that thought to the back of her mind as she sat down on the couch next to Clarke.

Lexa was considering how to ask Clarke about Raven without it seeming like she had to talk about Raven if she didn’t want to. Clarke, instead, opened up on her own, “It’s bad, a machine went haywire and shot off a bunch of pieces and one of them lodged itself into her spine. She’s going to be alright. She’s tough. She’ll be able to walk.” Lexa offered support to Clarke by grabbing her hand and holding it. After a moment of silence Clarke added, “My ex was there. Hers too.” They sat in silence, Lexa’s thumb rubbing circles on Clarke’s hand when she asked “Can we do something? Watch a movie or something?”

“Of course. What do you want to watch?” asked Lexa.

“I don’t know. Bring up Netflix, I’m sure we can find something.”

Lexa grabbed the Xbox controller and the remote off the coffee table and turned on both the TV and the Xbox. Once Netflix was loaded up she handed the controller to Clarke. They spent many minutes looking through possible movies before finally agreeing on _The Avengers_.

They didn’t get very far into _The Avengers_ before Clarke’s hand began to wander over to Lexa’s leg. Lexa, whose left hand was resting on her thigh, attempted to hold Clarke’s hand, thinking that was Clarke’s intention. However, Clarke shook off Lexa’s hand and her own hand continued its travel. The destination wound up being an area between Lexa’s legs and the right hand of Clarke’s discovered that in order to reach that destination it needed to unbutton Lexa’s boxers. As Clarke did so, she could hear a gulp come from the brunette. The brunette, who Clarke knew was staring at her, likely perplexed, while she pretended to still be watching the movie. Clarke slid her hand into Lexa’s boxers as she opened her legs for her. She slid her hand over Lexa’s center and moved her fingers through her folds. Lexa jerked when Clarke found her clit and circled it several times before moving her fingers down and around her entrance and then back up to her clit again. Lexa’s head fell back as Clarke quickened her motions. Next thing Lexa knew, Clarke was repositioning herself and adjusting her hand –still in Lexa’s boxers– so she was straddling the brunette. Clarke brought Lexa in for a ravenous kiss. Flicking her clit before moving her fingers down through her folds again and circling her entrance, Clarke put a finger inside of Lexa as she moaned. Lexa’s hands were on Clarke’s waist helping her with the rhythm. As the blonde’s finger pumped in and out of the brunette, she rubbed herself on her forearm. Getting herself off as she got Lexa off. Clarke’s other hand was entangled in brown hair. Kisses moved from lips to jaw and made their way up towards Lexa’s ear. Clarke started to pump faster as she added another finger, the movement of Lexa’s hips in tune with Clarke’s increasing rhythm. “Fuck,” whispered Lexa as Clarke nibbled her ear and she jerked off rhythm.

“You like that Commander?” asked Clarke in a low husky voice that made Lexa shudder.

She didn’t know what possessed her to whisper “Of course, Princess,” or how she managed to get it out, but as soon as the word Princess was uttered, Clarke froze. She removed her hand from Lexa’s boxers and moved off of her. They sat in silence for a moment, Lexa staring at Clarke wondering what went wrong.

She shattered the silence and spoke, “That’s what he called me.”

_Oh_ , thought Lexa. It made sense. “Costia would call me her knight,” there was a pause and it was clear by the way Lexa tried keeping her voice steady that this wasn’t easy for her to talk about, “and then I would call her my queen.” She looked away from Clarke at the TV screen with the movie they were supposed to be watching.

Silence settled between them, filled only by the sound of a movie neither were interested in at the moment. It wasn’t a silence that demanded to be filled, but rather a silence that just demanded to be felt. There was no rush for words, just the movement of a hand into that of another. The air holding all the weight of that revealed.

Finally, after many minutes, Lexa sliced open the silence letting her words bleed into the air, “Nicknames are nice but they can leave painful memories in their wake.”

Clarke let the words soak up into the silence until the trace of its blood was nowhere to be found, “No nicknames.”

Lexa turned her head slightly, looking over to Clarke whose eyes were on their clasped hands. She didn’t wait for the wound to close before she agreed to Clarke’s pact, “No nicknames.”

They watched the rest of the movie in silence and at some point Lexa ended up holding Clarke. Once the movie was finished, Clarke asked if she could spend the night as it was very late and she was very tired.

“Of course,” said Lexa, “You can sleep on my bed. I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“Are you sure?” asked Clarke, “I can sleep on the couch.”

“No, I insist. I will be up all night if I make you sleep on the couch.

“Fine, but can I borrow some clothes?” asked Clarke. She was still wearing the same outfit as she was earlier and the thought of Clarke wearing her clothes sent a wave of heat through Lexa’s body and caused a blush to creep up her neck.

“Yes, of course,” her voice wasn’t as steady as she hoped it was but hoped Clarke did not notice. She did, she just didn’t say anything about it.

Lexa moved off the couch and headed to her room with Clarke following. She stood in front of her dresser unsure exactly what it was that Clarke wanted to wear. “You can wear whatever you want.” She turned towards Clarke and found that she was standing much closer than before. Much closer. So close that she was now kissing Lexa. So close that her hand was moving down into Lexa’s boxers. Lexa was hyperaware of the action and broke the kiss to look Clarke in the eyes. Clarke’s hand was only partway in Lexa’s boxers when she did so.

“I want to finish what I started earlier,” explained Clarke, husking out, “you must be so horny.”

“Clarke you don’t have to,” she said, grabbing Clarke’s wrist and removing her hand from her boxers. It was true that she was very aroused but she didn’t want Clarke to feel as if she owed her anything, least of all sex. “I’m going to take a shower. Wear whatever you like.” With that, Lexa left her bedroom and moved into the bathroom.

She turned on the shower and stripped. Testing the water with her hand, she deemed it to be at a satisfactory temperature and stepped in. The water fell down onto her hair and she ran her fingers over it. She must have only been in the shower for a minute when she heard the door open. She froze. _Maybe she  really needs to pee_ , she thought. That was until she realized Clarke was stripping in her bathroom.

“Clarke, what are you doing?” she asked, although she knew exactly what Clarke was doing.

Clarke didn’t respond and instead stepped into the shower with Lexa.

Lexa spoke again, staring into the blonde’s blue eyes. “Clarke.” It wasn’t a question, but it demanded an explanation.

Clarke closed the barely there distance between her and Lexa’s bodies and started to kiss her. She finally gave Lexa an explanation when the brunette stopped the kiss after several seconds. “I didn’t get to finish what I started earlier.”

“Clarke, I told you, you don’t have to,” said Lexa moving her hands to Clarke’s shoulders (she really didn’t know what else to do with them).

“Goddammit Lexa, stop trying to be sweet and let me fuck you.”

The corners of Lexa’s mouth turned upwards as she moved her head downwards and kissed Clarke. Her right hand moving up to cup Clarke’s breast, receiving a moan from the other woman. Clarke took control and moved their bodies around so the water sprayed her back. Her tongue ran over Lexa’s bottom lip and the brunette mouth opened slightly, deepening the kiss. That was until Clarke’s hand moved down to cup Lexa’s center and Lexa broke the kiss.

Clarke looked at her quizzically when she avoided another kiss and took Clarke’s hand into the hand that was on Clarke’s breast. “Clarke, it’s slippery. We could get hurt.”

“The danger is part of the fun. Besides I thought shower sex was supposed to be hot.”

“I think that is mostly from the water.”

“ _Oh,_ so you aren’t as enamored with my boobs as I thought.”

“No, I,” Lexa paused as she looked down at Clarke’s breasts. They were really nice breasts. Maybe the best breasts. “They do make me feel very warm inside and I.” She paused again, unsure of what she was saying. She moved her hands down to Clarke’s back and made to switch their positions. Once successfully turned around, Lexa moved her head down and took one of Clarke’s nipples into her mouth and Clarke moved her hands into Lexa’s wet hair.

Lexa sucked on the nipple. “Whoa, slow down. This is my first time breastfeeding,” joked Clarke and Lexa practically choked.

She let go of the nipple immediately and straightened up. “Well that ruined the moment.”

“Oh come on. I was kidding. Loosen up.”

“I will be as tight as I want to be.”

“You’re no fun,” whined Clarke.

“Oh, I can be very fun,” argued Lexa.

“Not in the shower apparently.”

“It is very slippery. We could fall and get hurt.”

“Then let’s take this to the bedroom. Or the couch. I’m not picky.”

“Then I’d still need a shower and how do I know you won’t follow me in here again.”

“That’s true. I would follow you in here.” A pause. “You could lock the door.”

“Who’s to say I don’t want you to follow me in here, Clarke?” Her voice dropped.

Clarke’s eyes flickered away from Lexa’s to the showerhead. She gestured to it. “Is that detachable?”

Lexa followed her movement and was sprayed in the face from the object she looked at. “Yes,” she said as she faced Clarke once again and wiped the water from her eyes.

Clarke smirked. “You should find something to hold on to so you don’t slip and fall and break something.”

“ _Oh._ ” Lexa did as Clarke commanded and grabbed onto the bar in the shower, spreading her legs in anticipation.

Clarke angled the showerhead so the water was spraying a very particular area on Lexa’s body and the brunette gasped. Clarke moved the showerhead from her right hand into her left hand brought her newly freed hand up to Lexa’s neck, kissing her. As the kiss deepened, Clarke’s hand moved down Lexa’s body, stopping momentarily at her breast, feeling it and squeezing it, before moving further downward. Lexa’s grip on the bar tightened when Clarke’s fingers found her clit again and rubbed it.

“Clarke,” Lexa breathed out, stopping their kiss. Their foreheads rest on one another, although Clarke didn’t stop the movement of her fingers.

“Lexa.”

“Fuck.”

“That’s what I’m doing.” Their voices were whispers but smugness could still be heard in Clarke’s voice.

She moved her hand to ground her palm into Lexa while teasing her entrance with her fingers. “F-fuck,” let out Lexa. Clarke smirked and kissed Lexa as she entered her with two fingers, feeling the sound of a breathy “Clarke” in her mouth.

She let go of the showerhead and it thunked against the front of the shower. The water had been hot but tolerable and Clarke did not miss its departure. With her newly free hand, the blonde was able to grab and squeeze the other woman’s boob. Her thumb swiped over a nipple as she pumped into the brunette. Clarke kissed her way down to Lexa’s other boob and flicked her tongue over its nipple. Her pace was steadily increasing. She sucked at the brunette’s nipple as she groped the other breast with her hand. Swirling a nipple around with her tongue, she could feel Lexa getting closer. Getting much closer. She kissed her way back up to the brunette’s mouth, kissing a corner before connecting their lips.

The pace was much faster now as the blonde pumped her fingers in and out of the brunette, grounding her palm into her in the process. She could feel the brunette’s moans vibrate through her mouth and offered up her own in return. Lexa was _so_ close now and apparently all it took to bring her over the edge was a bite to her bottom lip. Lexa sure seemed to have a thing for biting.

Clarke slowed her movements, easing Lexa off the high and a series of fuck’s and Clarke’s later, Lexa opened her eyes, blinking a couple times as she took in the sight of a naked Clarke again.

“Welcome back to Earth,” said Clarke pressing a kiss to Lexa’s lips. Lexa tried to prolong the short-lived kiss but failed because Clarke bent down and picked up the showerhead instead.

“Let,” Lexa began but her voice was rough and she needed to clear it before continuing, “let me do you now.”

Clarke didn’t skip a beat. “Listen, I have a showerhead and the memory of your wet naked body as you come, I’ll be fine.”

“Clarke, I still need to shower.”

“Really?”

“What did you think I was going to do in here?” asked Lexa. A blush creeped up her face as she realized exactly what Clarke thought Lexa was going to do in the shower.

Clarke groaned. “Okay well be quick because I want this shower all to myself.”

“This is _my_ shower,” stated Lexa.

“Not anymore.” She sprayed Lexa in the face. “Hurry up or I’ll spray you again,” she said to Lexa’s displeased expression.

“I need the water,” she said and Clarke sprayed her in the face again. “Clarke, stop that! You need to learn proper shower etiquette.”

“Oh so there’s etiquette now? First no shower sex, now shower etiquette? How many shower rules do you have Lexa?”

“As many as it takes for you to behave.”

Clarke huffed, “I thought you would have realized by now that I’m a rule-breaker.”

“I know that Clarke, but perhaps with enough rules, you will learn to follow some at least.”

“You don’t know me very well then.” She went to spray Lexa in the face again, but Lexa having learned by now, grabbed Clarke’s wrist and brought her in for a kiss instead.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading :)


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